


Threads of Summer

by exDerelict



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cousin Incest, F/F, Inspired by Frozen (2013)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:07:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4517781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exDerelict/pseuds/exDerelict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With summer nearly coming to an end, Anna has yet to make the most of it. Instead she's been working on her father's farm, with her unapproachable cousin Elsa staying just one room over. But their unextraordinary lives slowly entwine within the bitter and sweet achings of summer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anna

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> What started as a one-shot diversion from my main elsanna fic has now expanded to a multi-chapter story. I'm pretty much breaking all my rules with this one: Modern AU, OOCness, but I figured, "Why the hell not?"

Anna longed for the unspoken promise of summer. She remembered skinny dipping under the hot July moon and staying in the murky waters until she could finally dress without worrying about prying eyes. Summers at the lake, splashing around in cutoff jeans and an old tee, too embarrassed to show off her bathing suit.

"It's too much like underwear," she'd tell Kristoff, and he would always laugh.

And water tubing down the river during the hottest days of summer. She recalled the relief she felt as she was swept along the cold current after their long hike upstream, although painstaking to get there even after Kai had bothered to drop them off in her daddy's pickup. She'd lost her favorite hiking boots in the river that day.

Sometimes her cousin tagged along with, but she never said much. Anna was three years younger than Elsa and Kristoff, but her cousin always seemed to be the odd one out. They'd be at the drive-in theatre under a blanket of stars watching the movie and shooting popcorn at each other like they always do, but Elsa would be on another planet.

There were so many summers lingering in the corners of her mind, threads of memories coming together to be bound in nostalgia. And yet this summer had brought none. Summer was already nearing its end and Anna had yet to see a body of water outside of the cattle watering trough or her bathtub. And the drive-in finally closed before school even let out, a victim of stagnating tickets sales. Except for the hot oven that descended upon the valley every day before noon, Anna had not seen one thread of summer.

But that was mostly her fault. She'd picked up a job application at the Dairy Queen just before break, and when she'd told her father about it, he's offered to pay her regular wages as a cowhand on their farm. They needed a third cowhand quick after Hans had quit without so much as a day's notice. The farm couldn't run smoothly with Kai and Kristoff alone.

"Good riddance," Kristoff had retorted. "That guy was an asshole. You should've seen the way he was always making eyes at Elsa. Made my skin crawl."

Anna had hardly noticed. Hans had never given her a second glance. After all, she was neither beautiful nor rich. But she was stronger now. She could feel the firmness in her arms as she pushed, lifted and pulled repeatedly in the course of a day. And how easier it was than before. But strength didn't ease the strain from the summer heat.

Sweat beaded down her face in heavy streams as she gripped onto the thin rope and swung her last bale of hay on top of the second tier. It landed in perfect alignment with the second and third tier bales. She let out a sigh of relief, glad to finally be done with it.

"Need a hand down?" Kristoff offered, extending his gloved hand to Anna. But she was only up one tier and easily hopped down.

"Water." Her lungs burned and she couldn't be bothered to muster more than a one-word request. He silently obliged, crossing the loft to the dusty beet-red water cooler.

Anna pulled off her cap and wiped off the sweat that had pooled over her forehead before wringing out the moisture that had gathered in the fibers of her hat, thoughts of rivers and lakes still swimming in her head. As sweaty as she was, her mouth was bone dry, and she could already feel the muscles in her arms begin to stiffen.

She looked up when a soft lyrical voice resounded in her ears, almost like a vibrant hum. It was her cousin, answering whatever question Kristoff had just asked her. While Anna and Kristoff had stacked the bales that were pulleyed in with the bale claw, her pretty blond cousin had sat peaceably at the other end of the loft, completely engaged in some tattered old book. Elsa was always nose deep in some book, though. Every few years her aunt and uncle would spend their summers in Greece, and her cousin would never join them. Instead, she'd spend it holed up in the guest bedroom next to Anna's.

They rarely ever spoke.

Her cousin never was the chatty type. They had superficial conversations during dinner with the whole family and exchanged awkward back and forth glances, but then she was off to her room or being called out to some party, and within minutes she was glammed up and out the door while Anna and Kristoff were shooting each other with water guns in the yard, or making popcorn in their pajamas as they got ready to watch whatever horror flick was on the tv. She would always pause, if only for a second, to watch her go.

Anna used to wonder if maybe she was only quiet around family, and perhaps was loud and silly like all her popular friends when she was with them. But then Anna entered high school, and she saw that Elsa, despite being  _the_  popular senior girl, was like that with everyone. If anything, she was like a princess, or a queen. Everything about her screamed it. And it wasn't simply because she was the daughter of a wealthy cattle rancher. It was in the way she walked, and talked, and flipped her hair. She was mystery, and elegance, and beauty all rolled into one, and everyone wanted a piece of her.

Even back then, they barely exchanged words. Not that it mattered, Anna wouldn't have known what to say. Whenever she passed Elsa in the hallways, she'd barely muster an uneasy half smile. Her cousin's pensive eyes would lock with hers and she'd reply with a slight nod of her head.

In fact, it amazed her that she could be related to someone who seemed to be such a polar opposite of herself. Anna was boyish and unrefined. She wore long-sleeved plaid shirts, even when she was off the farm, and most of her blue jeans were unflatteringly baggy around the hips. It was a comfort thing. She couldn't imagine wearing snug white jeans or knotting the hem of her plaid shirt and exposing her taunt stomach while working around the farm, just like her cousin was at that moment. Even the hats they wore stressed their differences. Anna's baseball cap over two reddish blonde braids in contrast to a leather Aussie hat perfectly shaped over long flowing silvery blond hair. There was really no comparison.

Anna undid the top three buttons of her shirt and pulled at her collar to try to fan some air inside. Just watching Kristoff grin and flirt like some idiot filled her with ire. He'd never flirted with Anna. They'd kissed before while playing around, or "practicing'" as he liked to call it. But he never looked at her like he wanted her. Like he was doing now with her cousin instead.

She suddenly felt quite self-conscious in her ratty clothes and matted braids, and didn't have to bother to check if straw was tangled in her hair. She already knew it was. It always was.

Anna grit her jaw and took a deep breath through her nose before walking over to the other two, her dirt-caked work boots rasping along the wood floor beneath her. As she approached, she stuffed her gloved hands in her back pocket and gave her cousin a mechanical half smile that dropped away as quickly as it came.

"My water?" She asked Kristoff, pointedly glancing at the tin cup in his hand.

"Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to get side-tracked," he apologized as he handed her the cup. "Elsa and I were just sharing our love for D.H. Lawrence.

_D.H. Lawrence._

Anna wanted to laugh and roll her eyes, but simply nodded.

 _D.H. Lawrence my ass_ , she echoed in her thoughts as she recalled the collection of cliff notes he kept piled on his bedroom floor, and how she practically had to pull hair to get him to crack them open during his sophomore year of college. And that had required a lot of hair-pulling, but luckily it was all his.

Anna could only assume that the worn book that her cousin held bent at the spine was a D.H. Lawrence novel, though she couldn't imagine which one. She'd only ever read two of his books, and that was enough to elicit eternal hatred of the guy.

She gulped down her water in large and loud swallows and pulled off one of her work gloves, pouring what little remained into her cupped hand and rubbing it over her neck.

"I mean, the guy was sensual," he went on. Elsa listened, but her face expressed little, and it was difficult for Anna to tell if she had any interest in what Kristoff was saying. Anna certainly didn't, and chose to tune him out for the better part of five minutes, instead, observing her cousin. She had small and slender manicured hands that looked like they'd never seen a day's work. Anna subconsciously flexed her fingers, picturing in her mind how rough and calloused they had grown. She didn't have to look at them to know that they were covered in scratches.

Elsa was poised and regal, her knees closed together and her arms in her lap. Anna imagined that if Elsa lived ages before, her likeness would have been used to fashion ceramic Victorian dolls. The girl was perfection. On the other hand, Anna stood with legs a tad too far apart and her posture guaranteed her a hunchback in another year or two. She could never compare with someone so beautiful.

"…he was daring and sexy when the world was frigid and cold," he expounded as Anna tuned back in, and her ears perked up when she immediately recognized the line from the paper she helped him write for his English lit class the year before. She was just a junior in high school then, but she'd still managed to help him get a passing grade. Not that she was a great student or anything like that; it's just that Kristoff was  _that_  bad.

"Oh please," Anna retorted. "The guy was a horny misogynist."

She turned to Elsa and, in her most exaggerated and pompous British accent, proclaimed, "All women hail my chirpy penis! May it stun and arouse you, and quiver your loins to jelly!"

Kristoff palmed his face, torn between exasperated disbelief, and annoyance at her clear attempts to put a stop to his flirtation.

Elsa laughed. Sort of.

It was something between a chuckle and a soft murmur. Barely there. But unmistakable from the look of interest that suddenly sparked in her eyes.

Anna was surprised. She hadn't heard her cousin laugh in ages.

_She looks beautifuller when she's like this._

"You don't approve of Kristoff's critical analysis?" Elsa asked, her voice soft and low, with an edge of delight.

"Nope. He's just trying to get you to spread your legs for him."

Elsa frowned and glanced at Kristoff.

"No!" Anna nearly shouted as she realized how terribly she has phrased her words. "The writer! Not Kristoff! He was just harmlessly flirting, I swear!"

She searched her cousin's face for understanding but Elsa seemed even more surprised by Anna's self-correction.

Had his face not already been flushing bright red from moving and lifting bales, Kristoff would have been flushed with embarrassment. He rubbed the back of his neck with his gloved hand.

"I should probably go take a shower," he said as he slowly backed away. "I'll see you two tomorrow."

Not waiting for any goodbyes, he turned and grabbed his lunch bag before he disappeared down the ladder. Anna groaned internally as she watched Kristoff go and knew that she would pay for it later.

"You surprised me," her cousin confessed, and Anna pulled her gaze away from the ladder and returned her attention to Elsa. "I didn't think high school girls could be so thoughtful about prose. They don't really teach you to think for yourself in high school."

She set down her book and comfortably rested her chin on her hand as she stared pensively at Anna.

"I'm not in high school anymore," she reminded her, having graduated not two months before. She was feeling self-conscious again. Even as she sat, her cousin's front knotted shirt showed off her pale and slender stomach. Anna impulsively tugged down at the hem of her own plaid shirt, as if subconsciously trying to cover Elsa.

"And you're taking a year off before you go to college," her cousin added, recalling it from a conversation earlier that summer around the dinner table.

Anna nodded.

"And what'll you do during that time?"

"Work here," she replied, her mouth feeling dry once again. It was the strangest thing, the more Elsa spoke, the more Anna found herself fixating on her mouth.

"The whole year?"

"No. I'll be traveling too. But I'm saving up for that." Anna's jaw felt like rubber and it bothered her that she had the strangest urge to touch her cousin's hair.

Elsa stood up and closed much of the distance between them. In Anna's eye, it had happened in slow motion and she took notice of the way her jeans rippled with the subtle sway of her hips and how her knotted top rose and fell over her belly button with each wave.

As if she'd been reading her mind earlier, Elsa reached for one of Anna's frazzled braids and stroked the woven strands.

"You're always in braids," she noted. "Do you ever wear them down?"

"When I go to bed."

She didn't bother to explain that she never dared come out of her room without them while her cousin stayed over.

"Do you think I could pull off braids?" Elsa let go of Anna's hair and played with a strand of her silvery blond hair, twirling it around her finger.

 _You could pull off wearing a potato sack over your head_ , Anna thought.

But instead she said, "Yeah, but a long French braid would suit you better." And without thinking, she pulled off her other work glove and reached for her cousin's leather Aussie hat, sliding it off slowly as she took a chunk of Elsa's hair in her hand and feathered it through her fingers.

"I could do it for you now," she offered. There was a tightness in her chest as she spoke. It was hot and fluttery, but it wasn't unpleasant.

"I'd like that."

And that's how she found herself sitting behind Elsa and straddling one of the bales, their bodies just inches apart as she wove her fingers through her hair. Silence had once again been cast over them after some more awkward conversation, but Anna was actually grateful for it.

 _Has she always smelled this good?_  She wondered, knowing very well that she always had.

She was slow and meticulous as she worked her fingers through the soft strands, her hands habitually brushing against the back of her cousin's smooth and pale neck. Anna didn't dare admit it to herself, but her fingers often lingered longer that was normal when she touched Elsa.

It was only when she was knotting the braid into place that her cousin broke the silence.

"I always thought you and Kristoff were dating," she said, her words imbued with the question she'd carefully circumvented.

"Everyone did," was her nonchalant reply.

"But you weren't?" Elsa pried.

"Well, we weren't dating."

"But you two were together?"

The question gave her pause. She dropped her arms down to her sides and squeezed her hands into fists.

"Nah, we never were. Not really," Anna answered flippantly and unclenched her hands.

Elsa turned around, adjusting herself on the bale they shared, her legs pressing against Anna's left leg.

"What does that mean?"

Anna looked down at her hands and picked at her cuticles wishing she could sink into the floors.

"We fooled around a bit a couple summers ago," she admitted with a small laugh. "We wanted to see what it was like, since everyone was making a big deal out of it. But it's not like we were together. Kristoff's never seen me that way."

Anna had meant to say that last part for Kristoff's benefit.  _Because he likes you_ , she meant to imply, but it only made her feel small and pathetic.

She was surprised by the sudden wave of self-loathing and shame that came over her with her admission. Anna had always told herself that fooling around with Kristoff had been nothing more than a mutual curiosity, but in truth, she never thought that she was attractive enough to bother holding off for someone who was actually interested in her.

But it was already in the past and nothing could ever change it, so Anna tucked her feelings away behind a goofy lopsided grin.

"Don't do that," Elsa insisted gently, pressing her hands on Anna's legs and gingerly squeezing. "It's not nothing."

"It's just sex."

"Is it?"

Anna didn't really know where she was going with this. For someone who had mostly ignored her since hitting puberty, her cousin was being far more invasive than she was comfortable with. She was about to say so when Elsa took her by the collar and pulled her into a kiss.

She hadn't expected her to press hotly into her mouth. Elsa's lips consumed hers. Her mouth may have been small, but it had a voracious appetite that left Anna with pangs of aching.

And her hands. She slid them down Anna's sides until they were back at her thighs, groping and squeezing with each penetration of her tongue.

It had to be insanity. Or maybe sunstroke. Her mind couldn't enable reason. There was no reason to be found in the throbbing wetness that flowed and contracted from inside her. When Elsa brought her lips down to Anna's neck and suckled, it sent a spark down her spine that sprung her to her feet.

The pupils of her eyes were dilated with undeniable arousal and her face was flushed red. She could feel the heat spreading down her neck and expand in her chest with every pant, as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Wh-what was that?" Anna sputtered angrily and completely rattled. She pressed her fingers over her mouth, alarmed by the swelling and pulsating inflicted by Elsa's forceful lips.

"Just a kiss," she coolly replied, with a trace of mockery in her voice, hardly seeming like the same person that had been in her place just moments ago. Her cousin rose to her feet and dusted off hay from the seat of her pants. She had that ice queen look in her eyes that Anna used to catch glimpses of in high school; distant and haughty and completely befitting of her old nickname.

"You're an asshole."

She grit her teeth and snatched her cap off the floor, pulling it snugly over her head as she stormed off. Anna tugged down on the brim of her hat as she descended down the ladder, glad that Elsa could not see the bitter tears that threatened to overflow.

_to be continued..._

****


	2. Elsa

"It's just sex."

It irritated her when she said that.  _Just sex._  Like sex could truly be so casual and meaningless for a girl like Anna. A girl who adored her best friend and acceded to his every request, who wore her emotions on her face like a giant John Deer green neon sign and didn't know how to be cruel, even to those that deserved it most.

Elsa couldn't endure how aggravated she felt, or the forced goofy grin that Anna wore, a grin that failed to mask the shame in her eyes.

So she kissed her.

She wasn't exactly sure why she did it, but as her lips wetly pressed against Anna's she remembered that first time she saw her bathed in the glow of bonfire all those many years ago, and that spark of attraction that crept up on her under the guise of vexation. As her kiss grew persistent, she pried her way into Anna's mouth, coaxing her tongue between her lips, and drawing a small groan.

It was the only answer she needed to press further; she slid her hands downs her chest, barely grazing them over her small breasts, and ran them down her sides over the fabric of her plaid top. When her hands settled at her thighs, she had to use all her restraint not to force them apart and push her down flat on the bale.

Elsa hadn't realized that she'd built up so many years of frustration. Hadn't realized that she still had those feeling hidden away inside for her. And yet here she was unleashing that contained maddening part of herself and doing the very thing she feared. And it was electrifying, like rousing from a waking dream and realizing that she was, in fact, connected to herself and to the universe.

But it didn't last.

Anna pulled away, gasping loudly as she took to her feet, and anger painted all over her face. It wasn't what Elsa had imagined. She wasn't even sure what she had been expecting, but it certainly hadn't been the angry words that followed.

So she pushed it back in. Locked her heart back into that withered icebox, and gave her cousin the Elsa that she had expected, cold and distant and even a little cruel.

After Anna had gone and Elsa was left alone in the barn, she picked up the book that had been cast onto the floor and tore it in two before throwing it out the loft barn door. She heard the soft thump as the pieces hit the grass below and wondered if summers would always be so painful.

~X~

It began before the summer of Elsa's thirteenth birthday. Her father started coming home reeking of cologne and wine around the same time that his business trips came with more frequency. And her mother took to slamming things: doors, cupboards, drawers. She'd slam the sliding door if it wasn't so difficult to pry open.

The tension in the dining room was palpable whenever both of them were together in the evenings. Dinners were painfully quiet. And when either spoke, it turned into a match of thinly veiled insults masked with tights smiles. Elsa preferred eating on the veranda overlooking the lake in the east wing of the house. From there she could see the moonlight glitter off the water and hear nothing but nature's love song, as frogs and crickets swelled the damp night air with their lyrical calls.

By mid-summer her mother had stopped slamming doors and spitefully maxing out shared credit card accounts. And before July could push summer into scorching and stifling misery, she had become a fixture at their local country club. Elsa hated being dragged along. Hated watching her mother act like a teenager, and shamelessly flirt with other men when they pretended to mistake them for sisters. Men with slick greased hair and smiles too wide, exposing perfect rows of gleaming white teeth.

She hated it and it showed.

"Why don't you bring your cousin along," her mother had offhandedly suggested when she'd complained that there was no one there her age. "I'm sure Anna would come."

But Anna was not yet ten and still played in the mud trouncing after frogs, always running around barefoot in public as if she were strung out on candy bars. She wore twin pigtails and pant overalls, and matched all her outfits with scuffed high-top sneakers that always seemed to be left and forgotten somewhere.

So it had not surprised Elsa when Anna showed up at their doorstep wearing dark blue denim overalls that were rolled up well over her ankles and a black and white checkered collar shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

"She looks like a farmer," she'd grumbled quietly to her mother as Anna had made her way toward the house, waving her father goodbye. But her mother had only vaguely nodded at her as she cracked open her vanity mirror and adjusted her far-too-bright lip-gloss.

Elsa had been even more annoyed when her mother left them to wander as soon as they'd arrived at the country club, and took off for a treatment as the spa. Anna had hardly noticed her cousin's annoyed scowl, far too preoccupied gawking at everything they passed.

"This place is like a paradise!" She'd exclaimed as she ran barefoot through the Japanese gardens. Elsa had already resigned herself to the fact that she was basically babysitting, following Anna all over the club to make sure she didn't break anything. And so far she'd knocked over a lamp, misplaced her shoes, and stomped her foot prints all over the sand gardens.

Elsa had stumbled across her cousin's sneakers and was picking them up when she realized that she had become unusually quiet.

 _About time,_ she'd thought.

But it was odd, even for Anna, so she had been confused when she looked up to find her standing transfixed and motionless at a secluded corner of the garden hidden by shrubs, with a dark blush coloring her face, masking the freckles that started at the bridge of her nose and tapered past the swell of her cheeks. For that brief moment, Anna looked decidedly like a girl rather than a loud tomboy.

"Anna, what—"  _did you see?_  She had meant to ask as she neared. But the sight of her mother, with her back pressed up against a tree, her skirt rolled up and her legs wound tightly around a man as their mouths mashed together wet and sloppy, stopped her.

She felt sick. And in that instant she'd felt her world come apart. A world that had only barely been held together at the seams with lies and false smiles, and had endured through late night shouting matches and doors slammed so hard that they resonated in her chest long after.

They hadn't notice being watched, and Elsa realized, as she met eyes with her cousin, that they would be noticed if Anna voiced the question that was plain on her face. Before she could say anything, Elsa took her by the hand and dragged her away.

The girls were clear out of the gardens when Anna whispered, "Do you think your mom knows that people do  _those_  kinds of things here?"

She didn't invite her cousin again after that. In fact, she barely spoke to her at all. Not even the following summer when she refused to join her parents on their trip to Greece and spent most of July and August in the room next to hers. She never joined them after and her mother never fought it or asked her why. Part of her wondered if her mother had seen her and Anna when they ran off after all. She wondered, but she'd also stopped caring.

~X~

She met him the summer before freshman year. Hans with his pretty boy face and his perfectly cut hair, styled with just the right amount of bounce. He didn't have the sideburns back then, but he seemed like the ideal boy-next-door. It was at his end-of-summer party. All his brothers before him had thrown them. Wild, spectacular parties that were talked about for months when school started. And anyone who missed out on one of the Isles Brothers' big bashes wore the badge of shame in the months that followed.

Elsa hadn't wanted to go, but just about everyone she knew was going, so it was expected that she'd go too. She hadn't expected it to turn into a hook up party, couples quickly pairing off. Soon enough it was just her standing by the pool sipping on warm beer in a plastic cup. That was when he approached her. He'd been doing some heavy drinking and couldn't quite hold himself up straight, but he moved toward her with a surprising overconfidence as a group of boys cheered him on.

"Bet he doesn't get her number," one of the boys whispered loudly and a few of them snickered.

"The results are in," Hans told her as he drew near, and Elsa wondered if maybe he was talking to someone else. She looked back, expecting someone to be behind her.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you." He was three feet away now, smiling broadly as he held his cup full of beer close to his chest. "According to our polls, you are  _definitely_   the hottest girl here."

She noticed the flashy gold Rolex he wore, and from its loose fitting band, guessed that it probably belonged to his father, maybe even one of his older brothers.

"I think you cracked the face of your watch," she told him aloofly.

"Huh?"

"The face. Your watch. I think it's cracked."

"Wha--?" Drunken confidence quickly drained from Hans' face and was replaced with sudden panic. Without thinking, he turned his wrist up to his face to see for himself, but in the process forgot about the cold beer in his hand and spilled it all over his shirt.

Elsa raised her brows.

"My mistake," she said coolly as she walked away, swallowing back the nerves in her throat. "I must have been seeing things."

The boys laughed and Hans huffed at them as he inanely swiped his hands over his beer-soaked shirt. Trying to keep face, he intended to walk away with some semblance of dignity, but being drunk as he was, he lost his footing and fell into the pool, splashing his drunken buddies.

By her first day of high school, Elsa had already earned herself the nickname of  _Ice Queen_. She was someone to be stared at in the hallways between classes, and whispered about when she walked past. To the student body, Elsa hadn't simply turned down one of Isles Brothers, she had shot him down cold. And in doing so, she had become the unattainable girl that even Hans Isles could not have.

In the summer before senior year, Hans commemorated the last ever Isles Brother summer bash by moving the party to the lake. Elsa had been determined to finally skip it that year, but her friend Jane Porter had just broken up with her boyfriend and wanted to make an appearance to save face.

"I can't do this alone. Zan's probably gonna be there and I don't think I can face him by myself. Please, oh please say you'll come," Jane had pleaded, her accent thicker than usual.

She caved, of course, but was already dreading another year of Hans' persistent pursuit. He'd been chasing her since freshman year, between girlfriends and breakups, and was always pushiest after she'd attended one of his parties. He hadn't changed much since their first encounter, except he was now taller, had grown a pair of ridiculous sideburns, and had learned to sugarcoat his cockiness with charm.

Elsa hadn't been at the party for more than five minutes when she saw him pushing through a crowd of sophomores, asking if they'd seen her around. She quickly turned around, dragging Jane behind her and leading her over to the bonfire at the furthest end where a group of soon-to-be freshman were gathered around a massive bonfire while a few others skipped stones on the lake.

"Isn't that your cousin?" Jane asked, nudging her on the shoulder. She pointed to a girl standing uneasily outside the circle of freshman nursing a can of coke.

She was predictably dressed in baggy jeans and a long sleeved hoodie shirt, but the pigtails were gone. Her hair was longer now, and styled in twin braids. She was still rather boyish with the backwards faded red cap, but her features were more defined than the summer before, her neck long and slender under the wisps of stray hairs that had escaped her loosely knotted braids. And her iridescent blue eyes imparted a solemn reticence as she stood apart from the crowds, with sparks of orange flames from the bonfire flickering in the darks of her eyes.

Although her clothes were designed to conceal her shape, Elsa could make out the delicate feminine curves of her hips and the subtle swell of her chest.

 _She's quite pretty now_ , she thought.  _Just hard to tell under those clothes._

"It's Anna, right? Should we invite her over?" Jane asked.

Elsa wavered at the question. She had barely spoken to her since last August and wasn't sure how she would even approach her without turning it into the most awkward encounter. She had planned to tell Jane not to bother, but she hesitated, Anna's lustrous blue eyes haunting the corners of her thoughts.

"Oh, guess she's fine after all. Looks like one of your admirers has come to the rescue," Jane chided.

It was Kristoff.

They had a few classes together since freshman year and had even partnered up for a couple of assignments, but Kristoff Bjorgman had never said anything to make Elsa think he liked her. But Jane was convinced that all the boys in their high school was secretly in love and afraid of Elsa. She never saw it though. Except for Jane, just about everyone annoyed her. They all seemed to expect something from her: Ice Queen, goddess, heartbreaker. Anything but herself, whoever that person might be.

Kristoff never struck her as one of them.

"Can't blame him for trying to score points with you by playing the prince."

When Elsa glared at Jane, she grinned back sheepishly.

"I was really mostly kidding," she admitted, pulling a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

They watched as Kristoff said something that made Anna laugh. Elsa couldn't hear what was said, but she could hear Anna's laughter carried in the air like a melodic chime. Sweet, yet lonely like summer. Even her laugh was different.

And it annoyed her.

"Oh God, I see Zan," Jane whispered loudly despite the fact that her ex was clear across the bank of the lake, barely getting out of his car. She ducked behind a stupefied Elsa, and peered over her shoulders.

Elsa was about to turn around and tell her how ridiculous she was acting when her name rang sweetly in the air.

"Elsa!" Anna repeated as she jogged toward her, the silvery timbre of her voice a bit raspy from her labored breaths.

She looked like she was planning to run up and wrap herself around her cousin in a tight hug, but as she neared, hesitation flickered in her eyes and she slowed to a stop, suddenly quite shy and uncertain of herself.

"Hey there! I'm Jane," her friend introduced herself, extending her hand from over Elsa's shoulder.

Anna laughed and returned her handshake.

"And I'm the super talkative best friend to little-miss-serious over here," Jane said as she pinched Elsa's left cheek, eliciting another laugh from Anna.

"You're a freshman now?" Elsa asked politely as she slapped Jane's hand away.

"Yeah, I start next week." Anna suddenly flustered. "I mean, I know we all start next week, because…well because  _everyone_  starts next week. But, yeah..."

"Don't worry, she has that effect on everyone," Jane chided. "Every school has to have a goddess, and she's ours."

"Don't listen to her, she's exaggerating." Elsa glared at Jane, and Anna smiled nervously, needlessly tucking back stray hairs behind her ears.

"Well, she's just so pretty," Anna replied timidly and without a trace of irony, unable to meet Elsa's eyes. "So, I can see why, um, why people would think that."

"You hear that Elsa? Now you have your very own adorable farmer fangirl."

Anna burned red and Elsa felt embarrassed for the both of them.  _Please shut up, Jane._

"Not that you're a farmer," Jane backtracked. "More like…cowgirl? I mean, it's great that you dress in what you like, and it's really a very good look for you."

"I'm wearing a hoodie," Anna mumbled. She looked like she wanted to disappear into the earth. And Elsa was once again reminded why Jane could never keep friends.

"Mr Callaghan teaches freshman Life Science and junior Chem," Elsa told her cousin, mercifully changing the subject. "He likes it when his students sit up front. He's also crazy about robotics, so don't be shy about showing interest, especially when you're teetering between grades."

Anna tilted her head and looked up thoughtfully at Elsa. She wasn't exactly smiling, but Anna's eyes were warm. "I'll remember that," she answered softly, and she did that nervous thing with her hands again, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. The light from the bonfire burning a short distance behind her outlined a soft golden glow around her form, and Elsa felt a tightness in her chest.

"But I should go," Anna added apologetically. "My friend is waiting for me, and I really shouldn't keep him."

They said their quick goodbyes and went their separate directions. Elsa and Jane hadn't gone far when Anna called after her once more, this time catching her by the arm. It surprised Elsa. Though Anna's hand looked small, her long and slender fingers easily wrapped around her arm, and though her hands were a bit rough, they were warm and gentle.

"Just…thanks," Anna said in a near whisper before she let her go and ran back to where Kristoff stood waiting for her.

Elsa could still feel the imprint of Anna's hand on her skin, and it felt remarkably hot. She barely noticed when Jane, in her paranoia, dragged them off to hide among a group of juniors.

Anna spent the rest of the night talking to Kristoff, and as her shyness wore off, Elsa noted how her arms and hands came alive, her body teeming with energy. And through all that, her nervous babble. Enthused, but never quite masking the insecurities that surfaced with every faltered smile.

"Looks like those two really hit it off," Jane had commented later into the night as Anna and Kristoff played keep-away with a bag of chip. Delight glistened in her cousin's eyes and her cheeks burned red, warmed by the heat from the far-reaching flames.

Elsa agreed but couldn't help casting a confused glance at Anna, and wondered at the irritation she felt by the mere sight of her.

A feeling that continued in the hallways at school whenever they saw each other in passing. Boyish Anna with her timid half-smiles and her look-away glances. Sometimes Elsa would even look back after she passed.

And sometimes, in bed, before sleep took her, a singular memory would creep in and out of her thoughts. Annoying and loud-mouthed Anna looking lonely and lovely under the glow of bonfire.

~X~

"We need to find you a boyfriend," Jane had decided two weeks later when they were eating lunch in their usual booth at the Tommy's across from campus, along with Zan. She was already back together with her skateboarder boyfriend after their month long split and the two were as clingy with each other as ever.

"Zan knows a guy who's interested. I've met him before and I think he'd be perfect for you," Jane went on, and before she could object, she added, " _And_  it would get Hans off your back."

Elsa sighed.

"And when do I meet Mr. Perfect?" She asked, resigned to her fate.

"Tonight," Jane replied grinning from ear to ear. "We're meeting up at the abandoned barn up by Fisherman's Creek. He'll be racing against Hans-"

Before she could finish, their conversation was interrupted by a loud whoop from the other end of the restaurant followed by clapping. When they turned around to see what the commotion was about, they saw Kristoff near the entrance being hive-fived and slapped on the back by a group of street racers from their school.

"And Kristoff," Jane added with a smirk on her face. "He'll be in the race too."

Kristoff beamed widely at the group of boys, bashfully rubbing his neck. Then Anna appeared from behind him, grinning broadly and elbowing him playfully, even as Elsa felt that fluttering irritation in her chest.

"We're going to the bowling alley after school," Elsa vaguely heard Jane say. "You should join us. We can head out to toward Fisherman's Creek after. Or maybe stop by the arcade for that if we have time to kill."

But Elsa was overwhelmed by the fluttering ache that seemed to expand in her chest until it felt more like a throttle, and the booth like shrinking enclosure.

"I'll be right back," she mumbled to Jane and grabbed her purse before she headed off toward the bathrooms. Once inside, she went straight to the handicapped stall, locked the door and leaned her back into the furthest corner.  _One breath in, one out._

She counted the tiles on the floor and waited for the buzzing in her head to stop.

 _Am I a…?_  She blinked and stopped before she could finish the question in her head. It was a ridiculous notion. And yet it had been slowly slinking its way into the back of her thoughts. One last exhale and she flushed the toilet, mostly out of habit, before exiting the stall.

And slammed straight into Anna.

Elsa was overcome by the scent of light soap and fresh cut grass. It was a bit earthy, like she'd been working in the yard, but there was a sweetness to it, a trace of nectar and lilac intermingled with red peppermint.

"I'm sorry," Elsa mumbled, suddenly feeling quite nervous. She breathed her in one last time before she took a step back, and she was once again greeted by that insecure smile that was as much irritating as it was charming.

"It's okay," Anna bit her lip and ducked into the nearest stall.

She'd wanted to say more, but there really wasn't anything to be said between them. Doing so would probably only lead to awkward conversation while they shifted uncomfortably, waiting for someone to walk in and liberate them from their misery. Elsa could only imagine that Anna felt the same.

When she returned to their booth, Jane gave her a questioning look and Elsa wondered if she looked as unsettled as she felt.

She shook her head. "It's nothing," she mouthed to her friend, mostly hoping that it truly wasn't.

~X~

His name was Ryder. He was slender but broad, like he had spent his evenings in the gym, although he wasn't quite muscled enough to be mistaken for a bodybuilder. Judging by the way he kept leaning over, looking at his reflection in the side mirror of his mustang and running his fingers through his dark brown hair and waggling his brows, Elsa imagined that he spent half his time in the gym admiring his own likeness.

 _Great, I'm being set up with Narcissus_ , Elsa groaned inwardly, and wondered how Jane figured that cocky and narcissistic was better than cocky and egocentric.

Ryder had hardly noticed her after Zan introduced them. He seemed more preoccupied with showing off the engine under the hood of his car to his friends. Zan and a few other guys from school were bent over the popped-open hood in serious concentration, almost as if they were engaged in prayer. Ryder had cockily dropped the words '4.6 2V crate engine' like it meant something before she completely tuned him out.

She glared at Jane and Jane returned a look that said, ' _And what's wrong with this one?'_

To which Elsa replied with a stare that said ' _Do you NOT see what I'm seeing?'_

 _Fine!_  Jane's eyes silently grumbled back. She tugged at her boyfriend's shirt and told him they'd be in the barn. The boys barely looked in their direction before they were fixated over the engine again.

Jane linked her arm with Elsa's and the girls walked the short distance up the small hill over to the abandoned barn.

"I'm sorry about that," Jane said as soon as they were out of earshot. "I guess my matchmaking skills could use a little work."

"A  _little_?"

She playfully shoved her elbow into Elsa's ribs.

"Come on, I was trying. I just want to see my best friend be happy and in love, and so disgustingly lovey dovey that it makes me sick.

"What makes you think that I'm not happy now?" Elsa asked, a chuckle outlined in her voice.

"Because I know you," Jane answered, resting her head on the crook of Elsa's neck. "Now if we could only figure out your type."

"I think you can rule out cocky narcissists who love to fondle their goatees," Elsa told her as they entered the dilapidated barn.

And then she saw her. She was next to Kristoff again, like she always seemed to be lately, and she was addressing a group of seniors with a confidence Elsa hadn't seen since they were children. And yet, in her confidence, she shined. There was still a trace of that loudmouthed girl as she spoke, but she seemed so much more grown up now. Still a tad naïve, but free-spirited in a way Elsa could never be and secretly envied.

"Definitely your type," Jane whispered.

Startled and suddenly injected with alarm, she turned and examined her friend's face, then followed her gaze to Kristoff.

"Don't deny it," Jane went on when Elsa didn't respond. "I've caught you making eyes at him a few times ever since he picked up on your cousin. But I wasn't certain of it 'til now." She squeezed Elsa's arm sympathetically. "I guess jealousy was just the thing you needed to finally get you to see it for yourself."

Jane took Elsa's silence for confirmation, but the truth was that Elsa could not give any kind of answer that would not leave her betrayed by her own voice.

 _I'm afraid to admit it,_ she realized.

That night under the silvery blue moon, as boys raced for rep and girls cheered them on, Elsa could not deny the feelings that were bubbling to the surface. Her eyes followed Anna, took in all her small gestures and nervous ticks, and marveled at the million funny little expressions that painted her face. She had no filter for emotion, and Elsa wished she could feel a fraction of the passion that Anna wore without pretense.

"Take my jacket," Anna insisted later that night as she took off her gray fleece utility jacket and handed it to Elsa. She must have looked cold to her; anxiously hugging her arms over her chest as she was. She wasn't cold, but she didn't turn it away.

It was still warm from Anna's body heat, and the collar tucked in the heat around her neck. She pulled the collar over her nose and took a deep impulsive breath. It smelled like Anna and lilacs, and fresh cut grass. A hot tingle spread in her chest, and Elsa thought she would likely burn.

She'd always known her, all her life she'd known her. And yet she didn't know her at all. She didn't even know herself. But as summer took its last breath at midnight and gave way to September, Elsa knew one thing for certain; she would always long for the scent of fresh cut grass.

_to be continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that the tone of this chapter was very different, so I just wanted to apologize to my readers for that.


	3. Anna

Anna didn’t return to the house after she stormed out of the barn.  Hurt and embarrassed, she pulled her cap over her face, hiding her flushed red cheeks and eyes wet with tears, keeping her gaze to the ground.  She didn’t want to risk her father, Kai, or even Kristoff seeing her.

She stole away to the shed behind the house and made her way to the back end of it, where Hans had snuck in a cot early that summer.  He’d told Kristoff that he put it there to steal quick naps during his breaks, but he hadn’t fooled anyone.  Overnight guests weren’t allowed in the workers’ quarters, so Hans would sneak girls into the shed.  His quarters were easily visible from the main house so he’d tried to switch with Kristoff, but Kristoff couldn’t stand him and refused to do him that favor.

The cot looked sturdy enough and was cushioned by a thin mattress.  She plopped down on it and the springs creaked loudly beneath her.  Anna curled to her side and buried her face in her hat.  She could hear the radio playing from the house and the screen door creak open and closed several times.  And she could still see Elsa’s face, eyelids fluttering closed as the space emptied between them, and the pressure of those glossy lips, sparking against her own.

Anna could feel that aching feeling again, throbbing in the pit of her stomach.  She squeezed her eyes shut tight and balled her fists, but nothing could will it away.  Her lips, her mouth, her tongue, her hands, and then that cruel cold stare persisted with clarity in her thoughts.

A loud voice bellowed her name and she sprung up from the cot.  Anna realized that she must have fallen asleep just as her mother called out for her again.  Probably to help with dinner.  She stole a quick glance of herself in a small cracked mirror.  Much of the redness had gone from her face, and her eyes were hardly swollen enough to draw attention.

Slipping out of the shed, she peered through the back kitchen window of the house and saw Elsa talking with Anna’s mother.  Her expression was soft again, and she reminded Anna of that same girl she had lent her jacket to all those many summers ago.  She frowned, her stare hardening as she wondered just which face was the true Elsa.

~X~

Her anger betrayed her.

Kristoff noticed it the moment she pushed through the screen door and stepped into the house.  It hung over her head like a dark funnel cloud.

Elsa looked up as the door slapped shut behind Anna.  She was standing in the kitchen beating a bowl of peeled and boiled potatoes into mush, while her aunt Jenn labored over the stove, humming along to some Reba McEntire song playing over the small countertop radio.  She eyed her younger cousin and Anna stared back, her shoulders tensed and her jaw clenched even as she quickly averted her eyes from Elsa.

The look between them did not go unnoticed.

“What’s wrong?” Kristoff mouthed silently.  But she brushed past him toward the stairs without a word.  He glanced over at Elsa to search for some kind of answer in her face, but she had already averted her eyes.

“Anna, I’m gonna need you to help set the table after you wash up,” her mother called out just as Anna began to climb the stairs.  She paused, her hand clenched tightly on the railing, and said nothing as she resume up the staircase, her dusty boots scuffing along each step.

It wasn’t until Anna sat down on her bed and bent down to untie her boot laces that she noticed the dirt she’d tracked into her room.  Clumps of dried mud clung to the black rubber soles of her work boots, and crumbled chunks of dirt and fine strands of hay covered the floor around her.  A groan escaped her throat.  She didn’t have to follow the trail of dirt out the door way to know that she had tracked it through the house as well.  Not only did she have to help set the table for dinner, Anna had just earned herself dish duty too.

She peel off her boots and socks, and carelessly let them drop onto the floor, spreading more dirt as it came undone from the crevices in her boots.  Not that it mattered.  She’d have to clean it all up anyway, and more dirt didn’t change that.

The sound of the screen door downstairs, creaking open and slapping shut, resonated up the staircase and into the second floor. Anna knew that Kristoff had gone back to his room, probably to shower and dress for dinner as well.

_ He’s so damned obvious _ , she wanted to scream, but rolled her eyes instead, unbuckling her belt and unbuttoning her pants, almost in one fell swoop, before letting them drop to the floor.   _ He probably chickened out again _ .

He had been trying to ask Elsa out all summer.  Kristoff hadn’t told Anna as much, but it was easy to guess from his desperate attempts at small talk whenever Elsa was in the same room.  He’d been obsessed with her cousin for longer than Anna had known him, always prattling on about her.   _ Her silky platinum hair, the way she swayed her hips whenever she walked and flicked her hair over her shoulder.  The way she -- _

_ “I just don’t get what you see in her,” _ Anna had admitted to Kristoff just months after they first became friends, cutting him off before he started in on some long-winded observation on the adorable way she ate her food.  There had been no way she was going to relive something that nauseating.

_ “You just don’t understand,” _ Kristoff had told her.   _ “It’s everything she does.  She doesn’t just enter a room, she commands it.  Guys and girls can’t help but notice her, and for that moment, it’s like time stops.  A girl is something special if she can do a thing like that.” _

It irritated her.  Elsa barely looked his way, and she was special.  But Anna clung to his every word and she was barely a girl.

In the months since she’d started attending Aarondale High School, Anna had not been able to penetrate her cousin’s cold exterior.  As polite as Elsa was, she remained this persistent enigma, and except for Jane, she didn’t seem to allow anyone else inside.  Even well after Elsa graduated she maintained that distance, and Anna couldn’t see how Kristoff could claim to like someone who barely glanced in his direction.

There had been rumors about Elsa being involved with some of the hot and elite guys at their school.  Everyone knew that Hans Isles had a major thing for her, and she’d been connected to Flynn Ryder and Will Turner on more than a few occasions, but she never had anything long term with a guy.

Anna stepped out of her pants and tossed them into a pile of dirty laundry in the corner of her room.  She was undoing the last button of her top when she heard someone clear their throat. She looked up.

It was Elsa.

She stood at the open doorway of Anna’s room, her silvery blond hair sunlit by the orange light brimming through the hallway window.  Elsa’s eyes were unflinching as she stared at Anna, not cold like they’d been before, but impersonal.  Like someone accustomed to concealing her expressions.

Elsa’s eyes darted down past Anna’s shoulders and past her hips, and Anna was suddenly quite self-conscious at her state of undress.  Her panties were plain and white, the kind that sold in a five pack, and her bra was just as unimpressive; no wires, no lace, just cups and straps.  Unnerved, she wanted to close up her shirt and pull on her pants, but somehow she felt that doing so would make her even more vulnerable in her cousin’s eyes.  So she swallowed her nerves, stared back and waited, catching a small flicker in Elsa’s eyes before her cousin tore her gaze away.

“Aunt Jenn’s asking for you,” Elsa informed her.  “She wants you to hurry up so you can help her chop.”

But the last thing Anna wanted to do at that moment was stand side by side with her cousin in that tiny kitchen, especially feeling as she did.

“I can’t,” she replied.  “I’m taking a shower.  Tell my mom I can’t help tonight, but I’ll take my turn tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Elsa said slowly.  “Then I guess I’ll set the table for you this time.”

Anna expected her to leave, but Elsa stood there as if waiting for Anna to speak again.  Another beat, and she was planning to ask her what she wanted when Elsa finally spoke.

“Sweep up the dirt on the stairs.  We shouldn’t have to clean up your messes,” and with that she walked off leaving Anna with a scowl on her face as she crossed the room and closed her bedroom door.  She didn’t slam it closed, but she gave it enough force to mirror the irritation that she felt festering inside.

~X~

Her hair was still damp when she made it downstairs for dinner.  Everyone was already seated at the dinner table, their plates brimming with food, but their mouths busy with conversation.  Kristoff was making moon eyes at Elsa, and sucking up to her by telling her how amazing her mash potatoes were.  And Anna’s parents and Kai were going on about the Aarondale Rodeo events they’d entered.

“…there’s just no way around it,” her father was saying.  “We’ll probably have to pull out this year.”

“The breakaway and the calf roping events are a loss,” Kai added.  “We had Merida and Hans lined up for those, but he quit, and the girl’s competing for our rival this year.  We can’t use you, Robert.  Your hand hasn’t healed enough to take his place.  And Jenn, here, hasn’t completed in ages.”

At the other side of the table, Kristoff was looking at Elsa like she was the most fascinating creature he’d ever come across.

“Jane will probably come up next weekend,” Elsa was explaining.  “She’s busy helping Zan move his things into our place.”

“Amazing,” he gushed over whatever else it was that Elsa had told him before Anna had walked in.  “If I had a nice place in the city like you, or an empty mansion on the other side of town, this is probably the last place you’d find me.”

He smiled widely, but Elsa looked uneasy, and it was clear that she didn’t like where Kristoff was leading the conversation.  But it gave Anna pause as she realized for the very first time that Elsa didn’t have any noteworthy reason to stay at their farm like she did back when she was a kid.  Before she went off to college it made sense for her to stay with them; a minor girl left alone in a big house without her folks just seemed to be asking for trouble.  But once she went away for school and got her own place?

Anna quietly slipped into the empty seat across from Elsa, nervously stealing a glance her way before she reached across the table for the potatoes.  Her mother looked in her direction and gave a disapproving shake of her head.

“You should have dried your hair first, Anna.  You don’t tie up wet hair,” her mother said as Anna plopped a large scoop of mash potatoes on her plate.

She set down the serving spoon and self-consciously smoothed her hands over her bangs.  Her hair was fixed into messy braids that had left wet spots on her shirt.  Pressed for time, she hadn’t even bothered to run a hairbrush through it.

“My hair dryer broke,” Anna replied meekly, well aware that Kristoff and Elsa were watching her now.  Kristoff looked like he wanted to bust a gut laughing, his chest trembling as he bit back his laughter.  But Elsa — Anna had no idea what Elsa was thinking behind those crisp azure eyes.

“Then you should have left it alone,” her mother lectured.  “You’ll get sick if you don’t let your hair dry out properly.”

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted, hoping her mother would leave it alone.  It was bad enough that Elsa was still gazing at her with an expression that Anna just couldn’t decrypt, but the bundle of nerves in the pit of her stomach only seemed to intensify with the duration of her stare.

“No, you need to take out those braids.”

“But, ma—”

“Take ‘em out.”

With a heavy and shuddering sigh, Anna slowly untied and unbraided her hair.  Had it still been completely wet it would have simply draped limply over her shoulders, but the outer layer had already begun to dry so it expanded into puffy waves over the inner wet layer.  Kristoff snorted loudly, and bolted out of his chair, disappearing into the kitchen, and within a heartbeat he could be heard exploding into a fit of hysterical laughter.

All eyes were on her now.  Elsa was now hunched over her food, her head hung down and her eyes darting between Anna’s hair and her mostly untouched dinner.  She had her hand over her mouth, but Anna had not missed the desperate way Elsa had pursed her lips tightly together as she struggled to downturn the corners of her mouth.  Even her father and Kai had paused and stared, and Anna wondered if she wished it hard enough, would it be possible to will herself to disappear into the wallpaper on the wall behind her.

Kristoff’s cackle from the kitchen was the only sound that swelled throughout the house, and after a long stern pause her mother finally broke into a laugh, quickly followed by everyone else at the table.

“I’m sorry, baby,” her mother said between teary laughter.  “I think we can make an exception this one time.  Go ahead and tie it back up.”

Anna nodded and pushed out of her chair, making her way to the kitchen.  Kristoff stood leaning against the island counter, his laugher settling down, only to burst into a second wind when he saw her come in.  Anna grit her teeth and slammed her fist into his stomach, sending him doubling over, groaning and laughing all at once.

“You’re not helping,” Anna muttered, and Kristoff wiped the tears from his eyes as his laughter finally died off.

“Let’s just call us even, then,” he replied, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

She tried hitting him again, but this time he was ready for her, and easily blocked her fist.  But Anna was already expecting he would and quickly wrapped her other arm around his neck and pulled him down into a chokehold.  That’s when they heard  _ her _ clear her throat.

Kristoff and Anna turned to find Elsa in the kitchen with them, staring wide eyed and tight-lipped with her arms crossed over her chest.  Anna quickly let go, and Kristoff made a not-so-nonchalant attempted to comb back his ruffled hair with his fingers.

“E-Elsa,” he stuttered.  “Is there something I cou--”

“Uncle Robert is asking for you, Kristoff,” Elsa announced before Kristoff could finish, her unexpressive stare quickly dissolving any attempts on his part to be charming.

“Yes,” he mumbled.  “I should probably go, then.”  He socked Anna playfully before he sauntered off, ignoring Anna’s pleading eyes, silently begging him to stay.  Kristoff turned back just before he pushed open the swing door to the dining room, completely out of Elsa’s line of sight, and mouthed, ‘Be nice!’ to Anna before he slipped away.

Anna shifted uncomfortably.  She wasn’t sure whether she was angry or nervous around Elsa.  It seemed that with every slight shift in the wind her mood flitted from one to the next, like a pinball slapped endlessly between pins, without hope of a “game over”. One moment she couldn’t bear the sight of her, and in the next she just wanted to talk to her and figure her out.  And right now she just needed to understand.

_ But how do I talk to her? Where do I even start? _

Both stared wordlessly at each other.  The sharpness in Elsa’s eyes had softened and the tension in her body had eased.  Anna found it a little easier to breath around her, but the words still eluded her.

_ Just say something. _

She licked her dry lips and opened her mouth to speak, but as she did so Elsa brushed past her and grabbed a plate of foil-wrapped corn from the countertop.  She hadn’t managed to voice more than a mangled “I”, but Elsa’s back was already turned to her and starting back toward the dining room.

“E-Elsa, wait!” Anna choked out, lunging forward and taking hold of Elsa’s wrist.  But she pulled harder than intended and the plate tipped in Elsa’s hands, sending foils of corn flying across the kitchen floor.  Everything appeared to happen in slow motion to Anna, even when the plastic plate slipped from Elsa’s hands and clanked and bobbled in circles on the floor tiles.

Instead of sputtering with apologies and scrambling to pick up the corn like she normally would, Anna couldn’t seem to move.  She stood behind Elsa, pressed behind her like a glove and her hand remained fixed around her slender wrist.  Elsa hadn’t moved either.

It struck her how small Elsa was.  Slender hips and a waistline that put Anna to shame.  Wrists so petite that Anna’s hand easily circled closed around them.  And she was soft, quite the opposite to Anna’s rough hands. They were about the same height though, Elsa being only slightly taller, but it couldn’t have been more than an inch in difference.  That she smelled quite nice was of no surprise to Anna, it was sweet and flowery, but nothing like the overpowering perfumes her mother wore on special occasions.  And she could still smell the hay off her hair and clothes, like breathing in summer in a well of spring.                                                                 

Elsa’s back fit nicely against Anna’s chest and her skin felt velvety smooth.  Perhaps that would explain what happened next.  With her fingers still enclosed around Elsa’s wrist, Anna slowly slid her hand over her cousin’s, expanding her rough and scratched fingers around the contours of that delicate hand; her palm and fingers exploring and caressing  Elsa’s  exquisitely soft skin.  Lined up as they were, she noticed how similar in size their hands were, and yet the contrast was night and day.  

Elsa gasped softly, and Anna froze before sheepishly pulling her hand away and stumbling several steps back.  She considered what to say; slip of the hand? Bad joke? Payback for earlier?  But nothing could explain the breathlessness she felt or the drumming in her chest, and she was certain that anything that came out of her mouth would sound like a lie. 

She braced herself for Elsa’s cold words and haughty stare, but her cousin said nothing.  Keeping her back to Anna, Elsa grabbed a cloth from the counter before she crouched down and picked up the fallen plate, and quickly dusted it off.  It was when Elsa reached for the first foil of corn that Anna scrambled over to help her.  And that’s when she noticed her face.

Elsa’s cheeks were flushed brightly and she looked quite flustered.  She’d never seen that expression on her face before; not that she could recall.  As the two of them silently picked up the corn, Elsa avoided Anna’s eyes, and Anna was suddenly quite embarrassed for acting as she did, whatever her unspoken motives may have been.

“About what just happened,” Anna started to say as they stood up.  “I know it looked like I was trying to pay you back--for earlier.  And I just, just wanted you to know--”

“It’s okay,” Elsa cut her off.

“But it’s really not. I--”

“I’m sorry.”

The last thing Anna expected was an apology.  She didn’t know what to say, her tongue had quite suddenly turned to mush in her mouth, and she felt like that tongue-tied freshman girl from all those many years ago.

“I shouldn’t have laughed,” Elsa explained.  “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.  _ We _ shouldn’t have embarrassed you.”

“Oh.”

_ So not about the kiss. _

“I love your mom, she’s amazing.  And I’m sure she didn’t mean to put you on that spot like that,” Elsa went on.  “My mother is never direct like that.  She just gets mean and passive aggressive, making snide remarks and masking them with  _ well-intended  _ concern.”

Elsa rolled her eyes and chuckled at her last remark, but the laugh was forced, and Anna got her first real glimpse of her perfect cousin.  And she wasn’t perfect at all.  She wasn’t the flawlessly self-assured goddess on a pedestal that everyone made her out to be.

And for some reason that made her pulse beat faster.

~X~

They hasn’t said much after that.  Anna had re-braided her hair and returned to dinner, only half listening as Kai and her parents agreed to have Kristoff take over for Han’s events in the Aarondale rodeo.  She stole glances at Elsa, never realizing that when she wasn’t looking, Elsa was stealing glances in her direction as well.

“What’s going on between you two?” Kristoff pried days later as they gathered their gear in the stables.  “Don’t think that I didn’t notice those death rays you were shooting at her with your eyes the other day.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“Come on,” Kristoff pressed on, grabbing her by the hips. “This is me you’re talking to, Anna.  Just what  _ did _ you say to her?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You say that, but it doesn’t feel like nothing.  Elsa’s been pretty weird too.”

Anna groaned loudly and slapped his hands away.

“Then  _ go _ and  _ ask _ Elsa, and stop nagging me, woman!”  She draped rope over her shoulder and pulled her cap on over her head as she walked off, leaving him behind.

Kristoff glowered at Anna and securely tucked the horse saddle under his arm before he trotted after her.

“ _ Woman _ ,” he muttered loud enough for her to hear.  “You really need to stop calling me that.”

Without looking back, Anna replied in a voice loud enough to be heard all the way to the house, “Not while you keep getting your panties in a bunch.”

They practiced for several hours every day of that week.  Kristoff wasn’t as good as Hans was with calf roping.  He had excellent form and aim with the rope, but he just couldn’t nail the leg knots.  Half of the time he couldn’t keep the calf down, and when he did succeed he was either too slow, or the knots gave way and the calf was back up on its feet before he made it back to his horse.  He was averaging eleven seconds.

On the third day of practice Kai and Anna’s mother joined them.  Kristoff had the calf on the ground and was struggling to get the rope around its legs when Anna’s mother nudged him aside.

“Watch closely,” she instructed and briskly looped the rope around the first leg and then the other two before securing the knot.

“You make it look so easy, Jenn,” Kristoff remarked, looking embarrassed.

She undid the knot and the calf bucked up to its feet and trotted to the water bin.

“The problem is in the takedown,” Jenn explained as she stood and dusted off the knees of her jeans.  “You need to do it quick, in one fell swoop.  Less stress on the calf, and easier on you.”

Jenn turned to her daughter and called her over.

“Yes, Ma’am?”

“I want you to run it through one time for him.”  Jenn handed Anna the rope and Anna took it without question, removing her cap and tucking it into her back pocket.

Once Anna was saddled on the horse and in position she readied her lasso, then Kai signaled and released another calf from the corral.  There wasn’t a trace of doubt or apprehension in her eyes when she bolted on her horse after him, swinging the rope on high.  Almost within a blink of an eye, she released, lassoed, and dismounted, and was rushing like wildfire toward the calf.  Her hands were ready when she reached him and, taking him by his neck and belly, lifted and smoothly plopped him on his side.  It all occurred in a series of steps but Anna made it look like one fluid motion when she bound the calf’s front right leg to the hind legs and knotted them off.

“Six point eight seconds,” Jenn called out as she clicked on the stop watch.

If Anna’s mother made it look easy, Anna made it look effortless.

Kristoff rubbed the back of his neck, and Anna realized that he was probably mortified.  They’d been friends for too long for her not to see that.

“Don’t feel too bad,” she told him, patting him on the shoulder. “I’ve been doing this for a lot longer.  I started competing in the junior rodeo when I was six, remember?  It was sheep and goats back then, but the principles were the same.”

“I just don’t get why I have to do it when you’re clearly so much better,” Kristoff grumbled.

“It’s the men’s competition, stupid.  And besides, I already told all of you last year that I wouldn’t be competing anymore.”

She’d told them last summer that her heart just wasn’t in it anymore, but more than that she just didn’t enjoy slamming calves and goats onto the ground.

Kristoff nodded, resigned to his post.

Looking over his shoulder, Anna noticed Elsa sitting up on the corral fence next to Kai.  She hasn’t seen her arrive, and wondered how long she’d been up there watching them.  Kai was telling her something but Elsa look distracted as she looked in Anna and Kristoff’s direction.  Their eyes met and Anna felt a wave of heat spread over her ears and up her neck.  She tore her eyes away, but not for long before she was drawn back to them, tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ears as she shyly looked back.

There was something inviting in Elsa’s face, like it was aglow with warm light.  Her expression hadn’t changed much from before, and yet the flecks in her eyes glinted brightly. Something of a paradox, Elsa was spring incarnate in an icy tundra.

“You can’t tell me nothing’s going on,” Kristoff leaned in and whispered.  A chill crawled up her back, but looking into his eyes, Anna could clearly see that his suspicions were nowhere near the truth.  Although, in truth, Anna herself did not know what was going on either.

“Don’t be a busy body,” she whispered back before hurrying over to untie the calf.

The young animal sprung up to its feet and Anna tenderly rubbed the wavy tuft of hair on his head and quickly dusted him.  She could already hear her mother resume her instruction with Kristoff

“Sorry, little Olaf,” Anna softly told the calf before patting him on the rear and ushering him back into the Corral, next to where Elsa now stood, still watching her.

_ Does she ever not look beautiful? _

“I’ll be right back,” Anna called out to her mother, as she walked past Elsa, catching a trace of her scent.  “I need to get some water.”

But her mother was busy with her lesson, and barely managed a nod in acknowledgment.

Anna jogged back to the stables, straight to water cooler, and served herself in one of the clean tin cups on the table.  At least they were clean enough.  She took a long gulp and rinsed her hands with the water that remained in the cup, rubbing her wet hands together and pressing them against her hot cheeks.  Anna was so focused on cooling herself down that she didn’t hear Elsa follow her into the stables and didn’t realize she was there with her until she pulled her hands from her face.

When Anna looked up at her it surprised to find the corners of Elsa’s mouth slightly turned upwards, it was so subtle, and yet it was like an explosion of sunlight on her face.

“T-The cup’s aren’t very clean,” she sputtered, imagining that her cousin had also come looking for water.  But she didn’t appear interested in anything but Anna.

“I heard you competed,” Elsa said. “But this is the first time I’ve ever seen you perform.  You’re quite good.”

Anna nodded slowly.

“My father used to brag about you,” she went on.  “I think he was always a little envious that your dad got his ‘little cowboy’ with you.  They were always so competitive with each other as boys.”

Anna waited for the punchline, wondering if perhaps this was another ‘farmer girl’ joke, but Elsa’s warm expression never changed.

“The twins in our family have always been pretty competitive,” Anna replied timidly.  “Do you remember the bo—”

“—bowling party for Uncle Adam and Uncle Eric?” Elsa finished for her.

“The holes in the ceiling,” they said in unison this time, and Anna felt her tension slip away, feeling quite normal around her cousin for once.

_ You say that but… _

“You have a little something on your face,” Elsa said as she leaned forward, slowly reaching her hand to Anna’s face.  Her fingers cupped around Anna’s cheek as her thumb tenderly rubbed a small spot along her cheekbone, and her touch sent a spark down Anna’s spine.

_ …it doesn’t feel like nothing. _

Elsa took a step closer, completely inside Anna’s personal space now.  The soft rhythmic sound of her breathing, the cool touch of her hand, the electrifying hue of her eyes, and her sweet perfume captivated her senses.  Anna was surrounded by spring.

“I think it’s dirt,” Elsa murmured taking her own thumb against her mouth and licking it wet.  And Anna remembered what her mouth tasted like and how her lips throbbed as her cousin nipped and suckled. Hot, and wet, and aching.

Elsa pressed her wet thumb against the small patch of dried dirt on Anna face, and delicately rubbed it off.  When she pulled her hand away, Anna’s heart was already climbing up her chest.

_ You can’t tell me nothing’s going on. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied, This is not the last chapter after all. lol.


	4. Elsa

The first time Elsa kissed a girl was during her freshman year of college.

It was just after midterms and Jane decided that the occasion called for alcohol, loud music, and the attendance of most of the students living in their building.  Elsa protested at first, citing rules against alcohol in the dorms, but quickly caved when she realized that alcohol was exactly what she needed after her grizzly physics exam.  Three shots of Jose Cuervo later and Elsa no longer cared that she hardly recognized a single face in their dorm suite; she was more awed by the liquidy way the floor seemed to ripple beneath her feet.

She was stumbling stupidly in the common area with a silly smile plastered on her face, nursing a cup of vodka and orange juice, when a hand latched onto hers and pulled her into one of the rooms.  The door shut behind them.

“We’re all here.”  The voice belonging to her captor announced to the small huddle of nervous and giggly teens sitting in a circle on the bedroom floor.  It took Elsa a moment of hard focus to realize that it was Jane who had dragged her into the room.

“Scoot over,” one of the boys said, and they quickly scrambled to make room for the girls.

Four boys, four girls.  Elsa was amazed that they’d all managed to squeeze into the tiny room.  Jane set down an empty Corona beer bottle in the middle of the circle and Elsa groaned.

“What are we? Twelve?” Elsa practically bellowed, too drunk to realize how loud she was.

“Absolutely!” Jane grinned and wrapped her arm around Elsa’s shoulder. “Time to show off your skills, Miss Hot Lips.”

Elsa shot Jane a dirty look and took a large gulp of her drink.  As drunk as she was, she wasn’t sure she was drunk enough for a game of spin the bottle.  But Jane was yet again in the middle of another breakup with her on-again off-again boyfriend, and Elsa had no choice to but ride out the crazy train.

“Okay, everyone.  You all know the rules,” Jane announced.  “Ten seconds on the group’s count, any less and you have to drink from the mystery bottle.  If you refuse, you have to drink from it twice.”  She held up a bottle of mystery sludge and passed it around the circle.  The liquid was a brownish green with a thick consistency to it, and judging from the nauseated cringes made by each member of the circle, it smelled as awful as it looked.

“Oh god,” a wide-eyed short haired brunette exclaimed, crinkling her nose in distaste.  “What’s in this thing?”

“You don’t’ want to know,” Jane replied impishly.  “Trust me on this.”

Jane was the first to spin.  On her first attempt she impetuously spun too hard and the bottle shot out of the game circle and under the bed.  On the try it landed on herself, and she scowled, but the third try was a charm.  The bottle landed on a timid library science sophomore named Milo.  Handsome, although lanky and bookish, Elsa recognized him as one of the boys that lived in the suite directly across from theirs.  A warm blush tinted his cheeks, and Elsa guessed that he probably had little experience with the opposite sex.  Milo sat up and crawled toward Jane, a shy smile slowly spreading over his eyes and lips.

It started as a tender kiss, his lips had barely brushed against Jane’s, gently easing more pressure.  But Jane was far more experienced and much too impatient for a slow build up, and pulled Milo by the collar of his shirt, trapping him in a deep wet kiss.  Milo stiffened and his eyes shot open, looking like a petrified schoolgirl.  Jane had practically swallowed his mouth with hers.

The group mercifully sped through the count.  Jane was not pleased.

“No fair,” Elsa’s best friend pouted.  “You guys counted way too fast!”

Elsa leaned in and hugged Jane in drunken consolation, but mostly to keep her balance.  Elsa was already having a difficult time holding her head up and her eyes open.

The next person to spin was a dark-haired freshman named John.  He sported a cheap plastic top hat, something he probably picked up at a party store, and wore round black rimmed glasses.  The guy didn’t live in their building, and Elsa hadn’t laid eyes on him prior to the party, but she’d noticed he arrived with Wendy Darling, a sophomore from one of the first floor suits who happened to be sitting next to him.

“Wait, should I be spinning clockwise or counterclockwise?” John pondered out loud, sounding more like he was walking his way through a science experiment.

Wendy slapped his shoulder.

“Just spin the damn bottle.”

He spun.  And it landed on a horrified Wendy.  Elsa suddenly recalled his brief introduction as “John Darling” when he arrived at party.

“That can’t possibly count,” a nervous Wendy said indignantly, clenching her fists in her lap.  “Spin again, John.”

Before John could make another grab for the bottle, Jane leaned in and snatched it away.

“Sorry kiddos.  But rules are rules.”  Jane winked and handed Wendy the toxic mystery bottle.   Elsa felt her stomach churn as she caught a whiff of it in passing.

“But he’s my brother!”

John remained quiet, but his rigid shoulders and tensed jaw exposed his equal apprehension.

“Then drink,” Jane replied.   

A look passed between Wendy and John and he nodded at her encouragingly.  She pressed the bottle to her lips, and slowly tipped it, but wrenched it away before the sludge made its way to her mouth.

“I can’t,” she whimpered.  “It’s too disgusting.”

She looked to John and mouthed ‘ _I’m sorry’_ even as the crowd began to chant for them to kiss.

“Time to pucker up!” Naveen obnoxiously called out to the siblings, puckering his lips and making loud kissy noises.

And they did.  Wendy looked a shade of green as she tightly pursed her lips and leaned over to her brother, her eyes were squeezed shut.  Almost painfully so.  John looked even more horrified than Milo had been when he took his turn, but instead of pity, he was faced with a room full of amused and snickering looks.

A wave of chuckles filled the room as the coerced siblings pressed lips.

“…threeee-one thousand, fouuur-one thousand…” the group chorused slowly, to the chagrin of the siblings.   James Hawkins snuck a picture on his phone, and Elsa suspected that brother and sister would likely not dare to be seen together on campus for a long while after that night.

“…teeen-one thousand.”

The siblings pulled away gasping, clearly having been holding their breaths the entire duration of their wretched kiss.

“Bleach…” Wendy grumbled as she rubbed off her mouth.

“Cyanide…” Her brother bemoaned, doing the same.      

Elsa started losing consciousness after that.  The game seemed to have gone on without her because she could still hear them laughing and protesting as they continued around the room.  She knew the bottle had landed on Jane at least once when Jane moved and Elsa lost her resting shoulder, sending her head plopping to the floor.

She wasn’t sure how long she lay there when a hand shook her awake.

“Elsa, get up.” Jane urged. “Time to pucker.”

Elsa sat up groggily and stared at the bottle on the floor, but couldn’t bring it into focus.     She rubbed her eyes and opened them, vaguely aware of the snickering as all eyes looked at her.

“My turn to spin?” She reached for the bottle but Jane stopped her hand.

“It’s pointed at you, silly.”

A second look at the bottle and she realized that it was indeed pointing straight at her.

“Then who…?”  She scanned the faces in the circle, most of them looking like they wanted to burst out laughing.  James was not-so-stealthily readying the camera on his phone, and Jane was grinning from ear to ear.  The only person that didn’t look amused was the short-haired brunette with the alarmed green eyes.

“Oh.”

Elsa couldn’t remember the girl’s name but she was quite pretty.  Her soft facial features reminded her so much of Anna, something that even Jane had pointed out once before.  Up until a week ago the brunette had been quite blond and her hair had been much longer.  Some of the boys had started calling her Rapunzel shortly after the Icebreaker Games that were held at the dorms during their first week, and the nickname stuck.

_I wonder if that’s the reason that she cut her hair._

But she couldn’t help but think about how the girl and Anna both had the same full cheeks and doe-eyed expressions; and near identical crinkles on the bridge of the nose when they got anxious.

Elsa took a gulp from Jane’s Bacardi drink and got to her knees, crawling forward and inching to meet the girl halfway.  Jane’s eyes went wide with surprise, half expecting Elsa to make some semblance of a protest first, but that moment never came.  The other girl looked a little nervous but managed a small smile, and even rolled her eyes as the boys around them hollered and whooped.

“Ready to do this?” the girl asked timidly.

 _So much like her,_ was all Elsa could think in her drunken stupor.

Barely nodding her reply, Elsa leaned forward until their lips met.  Bacardi saturated her blood and she was floating now; she reached her hand up, smoothing her fingers over the girl’s neck and slowly running them through her hair.  Elsa pressed harder, and for the first time, felt the excitement of a kiss.  It wasn’t just slabs of flesh smacking together in awkward motion, it was butterflies in the stomach and the diffusion of tingling delight over her chest.  

“...fouuuuuuuuuuuuuur…”

Until she kissed this girl, she hadn’t realized just how unwelcome the rasp of stubble felt on her cheeks and her mouth.  Even a close shave could not mimic the splendor of silken skin; too scathed and toughened from years of shaving.

_This is what I’ve been missing._

She pressed deeper still, and her partner let out a startled squeak when Elsa pushed her way into her mouth.  More alcohol pumped into her brain, and she was on an existential plane; blown by the realization that she could taste colors, and that the kiss she was consumed in tasted a lot like a tangy cerise.   

“...seeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvveeennn…”

Somewhere in her mind, a grassy meadow sprouted on a powdery white cloud and threads of fresh cut grass feathered down over her.  Elsa couldn’t remember whose lips were attached to her own, and yet the memory of that earthy fragrance fueled her persistence.

“...teeeen.”

And just like that, those soft and dainty lips were lost to her.  Elsa dropped back and landed against Jane, unaware that the room had grown silent.  She mumbled something before she passed out in Jane’s lap.

All eyes turned to Jane, whose expression teetered between wide-eyed astonishment and confusion.

The green-eyed girl with the bright flushed face and swollen lips cleared her throat but she couldn't bring herself to say a word.  Only James seemed unperturbed as he shamelessly snapped a picture of Elsa.

“Anna?”  Wendy finally broke the awkward silence, repeating Elsa’s last word.  She turned to Jane and dared to ask the question that was on everyone’s mind.  “Exactly who is this Anna?”

~X~

Jane hadn’t wasted any time booking her flight to Aarondale after Zan was completely moved into hers and Elsa’s apartment.  As soon as his last box was unpacked, Zan took off on his cross country skateboarding journey, desperate to garner enough attention for an invite to the X Games.  And Jane had no intention of joining him.  Not that he ever insisted.  She had never been capable of mustering up enthusiasm for the sport, and whenever Elsa had attended events with them in the past she noticed that Zan couldn’t bear Jane’s tortured animal look, just begging to be put out of her misery.

The last time Jane had been in Aarondale was Christmas before last, when her parents announced they were divorcing.  Her mother moved in with her boyfriend, Will Clayton, an arrogant wilderness guide from Montana, and her father relocated back to Oxford after accepting a teaching post as the new head of the Anthropology department.  It surprised Elsa that Jane hadn’t seemed all that upset about it. Unlike Elsa, Jane actually got along with both her parents.

She was glad to have her friend around.  But as much as Elsa looked forward to seeing Jane after the awkward week at her uncle’s farm, she had also been bracing herself from the moment the plane landed.

“Not a word from you!”  Elsa warned as she helped Jane with her luggage into the trunk of the car.  Jane already had that look in her eye; a dam of a thousand questions just waiting to burst.

“I didn’t _say_ anything.”

“But I know you, Jane.  We’ve been best friends since before the Stone Age.  Not even your mom or your fiancé can claim to know you as well as I do.  And you got those crazy eyes that are just dying to pry into my business.”

“Well, you’re _mistaken_ ,” Jane huffed and gave her an indignant look before they got in the car.

The car ride back to Aarondale from the airport would be at least an hour in normal traffic and without any pit stops.  They weren’t on the road for more than five minutes when Jane started fidgeting with the radio dial.

“Stop doing that.” Elsa swatted her hand away.

“Please just _tell me_ that you’re seeing _someone_ ,” Jane pleaded.

Elsa glanced down at the speedometer and considered risking a speeding ticket to trim down the duration of their drive.

“Are you planning on nagging me about this the entire ride back?”

“If I have to, yes.”

Elsa groaned loudly.

Jane rolled her eyes.

“It’s not my fault that I sound like a broken record, you know,” Jane insisted, giving Elsa her most conceitedly pragmatic look.  “I’m practically an old married woman now—”

“You got engaged just _two_ weeks ago.”

“—and I’ve been dating the same guy for nearly 6 years.”

“During most of that time you two were broken up and seeing other people,” Elsa replied flippantly, unable to contain the amusement that crept into her eyes and onto the corners of her mouth.  “You spent winter break in Cabo guzzling down margaritas with a local guy named Marco.”

“Ugh!  I’m gonna hit you Elsa Aarons!” Jane whined, playfully grabbing and shaking her friend’s shoulder.  “You’re completely missing my point.”

“I get your point, Jane.” Elsa asserted gently, though her nerves were beginning to fray.  “It’s the same point you’ve been trying to make for years, but I just don’t—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You don’t have the time.  You’re too busy studying for exams, or you have your internships, and now it’s your Master’s program.” Jane exhaled loudly.  “Elsa, I’m sorry sweetie, but even the cleverest of minds made the time to date.  Even Einstein had a girl.”

Elsa scoffed.

“He married his _cousin_.”

“ _Well,_ beggars can’t be choosers.”

Elsa sighed, and eased her foot a fraction harder on the gas.

“I ran into Will Turner a week ago,” Elsa confessed, already starting to regret the words that were tumbling out of her mouth.  “He said that he’s throwing a bonfire at the lake.  And quite a few people from our graduating class will be going.”

Elsa cast a sideways glance at Jane and wished she’d kept her mouth shut after all.  Jane’s eyes lit up, and Elsa could already see the wheels turning in her head.

“You’re holding something back,” Jane accused, her grin already spreading from ear to ear.

“It’s nothing really,” Elsa coolly replied, her eyes fixed on the road.

“Oh please, it’s never not nothing with you.”

Elsa could feel Jane’s eager stare boring into the side of her head, and she swallowed, feeling a knot beginning to form in the pit of her stomach.

“So?” Jane pressed on.

“He—he wanted to know if I was seeing anyone.  He figured that maybe—that maybe we could go…together.”

“ _No way._   _Shut the front door!_ ”  It was the closest that Jane ever came to cursing, a habit she picked up from years of watching the Disney Channel.  Jane would never admit it, but she still watched it every evening behind closed doors.  And Elsa never told her, but she could hear Jane’s television humming from across the hallway even as she sang along to the intro song of _Boy Meets World_.

“I told him that I’d think about it.”

Jane let out a dramatically frustrated groan and rubbed her forehead.

“Why do you always give me hope, then cruelly snatch it away?”

“I do try,” Elsa replied, smiling a little to herself.  She could always count on Jane to bring the melodrama.  “All kidding aside, he’s just not my type.”

“You have to _have_ a type first before you can start excluding from it,” Jane pointed out.

Exactly what qualifications made for her type was a mystery to Elsa, with the exception of a glaringly obvious detail she had never admitted to anyone out loud, not even to Jane.   Whenever she pondered what her type might be, the first thing to cross her mind had nothing to do with looks or personality; it was the scent of fresh-cut grass.  The memory of it so strong that it filled her and left her aching with nostalgia.

But most recently, whenever she considered it, Anna’s face flitted in and out of her thoughts, and that old spark of attraction that she thought to be long dimmed, glimmered back to life.

“You want to go to the bonfire?  I’ll go if you want to go.”  Elsa had nothing better to do, and having a few drinks with their old classmates didn’t seem so bad with Jane around.

“Yes. Absolutely!” Jane beamed widely.  “I just can’t wait to see the old gang again.”  But then she frowned and crinkled her face like she’d tasted something bitter.  “Oh god, I just hope that Esmeralda Romani got fat.  That hipster gypsy girl was always flirting with Zan just to spite me.”

Elsa laughed, it was soft and rippling, and full of amusement.  All these years later and Jane had hardly changed at all.

“It’s a date then.  I’ll let Will know that we’re coming.”

“Wait, you’re not planning to go with him?”  Jane looked at Elsa like she’d grown a second head.  “Have you gone mad?”

“Why would I go with him when I already have a lovely date to keep me company?”  Elsa briefly averted her eyes from the road and gave her best friend a look of mock sincerity, fluttering her eyelashes at her.

Jane drew a deep breath and shook her head in resignation.

“Hopeless,” she said.  “You’re completely hopeless.”

~X~

With Jane back in town, Elsa had packed up most of her things from the guest bedroom in her aunt and uncle’s farmhouse.  It hadn’t taken her long; she’d arrived with no more than a suitcase and a carry-on bag at the beginning of her stay just a few weeks before.  The only thing she’d added to her belongings since then was a leather Aussie hat she purchased at the outlets.

It was a beautiful hat, and she wore it quite well.  But it wasn’t supposed to belong to her.

After all, It was Anna who saw it first.

On that same weekend that Elsa had arrived at the farm, Anna and Kristoff had made plans to drive out to the Corona Valley Outlet Mall, an hour south from Aarondale.  Aunt Jenn had insisted that Elsa go too.

“The young should stick with the young,” her aunt had said as she coaxed a reluctant Elsa to climb into Kristoff’s truck, and sit right next to Anna.  “Besides, we’re gonna be off at the auction all afternoon.  So go on.  Unwind and have a good time.”

Despite her calm outward demeanor, Elsa had been completely knotted up inside, her heart clenching every Anna’s arm bumped against hers during the hour long drive.

As soon as they had arrived, they made plans to regroup in front of the theater by three.  But they didn’t split off until they hit the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, when Anna and Kristoff started tussling playfully over a piece of chocolate.  Elsa had been the one to excuse herself, saying that there was a book she wanted to buy.

“You sure you don’t wanna get something sweet?” Kristoff had asked wistfully.  “I’m buyin’.”

“No, but thank you,” she’d replied politely, slipping into a closed-mouth smile.

After she turned to leave she heard Anna’s loud boisterous laugh as she and Kristoff resumed their play-fighting over a chocolate brownie.  Touching and pulling at each other unabashedly.  They looked just like a couple of lovebirds.

But there was no book she was looking for, so she wandered the shops for the next hour, wishing 3 o’clock would come faster.  An hour later she’d stumbled upon Anna at the Boot Barn, and quietly watched with amusement and fascination as her self-conscious cousin scanned the store before she furtively pulled off her cap and tried on the leather Aussie that had been on the display in front of her.

Anna had cast another glance around the store before she turned to face a large mirror.  Elsa could clearly see Anna’s reflection from where she stood.  Nervous and embarrassed, Anna tugged at the brim of the hat and adjusted it comfortably over her braids.  Satisfied, she dared to smile meekly at her reflection, and for that moment Anna seemed to be standing straighter and taller, her chest pushed out and her eyes beaming with radiance.  She looked absolutely and adorably breathtaking.

But the moment didn’t last.

It had been broken by a Kristoff, who had unknowingly brushed past Elsa, holding his stomach as he broke into a booming laughter.  He flicked at the brim of the hat with his fingers, tipping it forward over Anna’s eyes.  Mortified, she practically yanked it off when she saw Kristoff’s reflection in the mirror.

In that same instance, Elsa had turned away and grabbed a nearby book, absurdly pulling it open over her face.   She dared not make any sudden moves, unsure whether or not they had spotted her as well.

“You look _so_ weird with that hat,” Elsa had heard Kristoff say, his loud voice attracting a few onlookers from the other end of the store.  “Like you’re trying to be a girl, or something.”

Daring to steal another look, Elsa had turned back, holding the ridiculous book over her face, and caught the injured look in Anna’s eyes.  It had only been there for a split second before her face hardened and she rolled her eyes.

“I am amazed at your stunning inability to differentiate between the sexes,” Anna snarked.  “ _Of course_ I am a girl, you jackass.  And it’s a unisex hat.”

She threw the hat at his head, but he ducked, and it landed on the floor.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” Kristoff told Anna as the two began to make their way out of the store.  “Girlish things just don’t suit you, and it made you look kind of girly.  That’s not really you.”

Once they had disappeared, Elsa picked up the hat and dusted it off.  She tried it on, doing her best to mimic the expression she’d seen on Anna, and it surprised her just how well it suited her.  One look at the price tag, and she realized that Anna wouldn’t have been able to buy it for herself, even if Kristoff hadn’t hassled her about it.

An hour later, when the three of them were headed back to the farm, Elsa had made sure that the hat was perfectly tucked away from prying eyes in her oversized shopping bag.  It wasn’t really her usual style, but she hadn’t intended it for herself when she paid for it at the checkout.

She meant to give it to her when they got back to the house.  She’d held it behind her back, trembling slightly as she sought out the right words while she stood at her door way, but the right words never came, nothing but a half whispered _‘goodnight.’_

The days quickly turned to weeks.  _Weeks._   And she still had not given her that hat.

And then a week ago, the idea came to her.  She didn’t have to personally hand it to her at all.  Elsa quietly crept into Anna’s room after breakfast, right after everyone had gone out to start unloading bales of hay off of the trucks.   She’d set the hat on top of Anna’s pillow, and couldn’t suppress a smile when she noticed how neatly the bed was made and yet, how messy the rest of the room was.  Jeans, shirts, and boots were scattered all over the room.

By lunch, she had forgotten all about the hat.  That is, until Anna came downstairs holding it in her hands.

“I think this is yours,” Anna said as she held it out to Elsa.  “My mom must’ve put it in my room by accident.  Sorry about that.”  She smiled apologetically, waiting for Elsa to take it from her hands.

“Right,” Elsa replied slowly as she took it back, realizing that there had been no flicker of recognition in her cousin’s eyes.  Anna had completely forgotten that hat.

“It’s a nice hat though,” Anna went on.  “You should wear it sometime.  I bet it looks really good on you.”

And just like that, the moment had passed.

~X~

They didn’t go straight to her family ranch from the airport.

Elsa and Jane took a detour back to the farm after Elsa realized that she’d left her packed bags up in the guest room.  She had only meant to run up and grab them, then head right out, but Anna was lurking in the dimly lit hallway and Elsa suddenly forgot why she’s rushed up the stairs so deliberately in the first place.

“You’re leaving us already?”  Anna asked awkwardly.  She chewed her lower lip and slipped her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.  Anna looked restless the way she shifted where she stood, the balls of her bare feet rubbing in circles on the floor, and her hands practically burrowing into her pockets.  She couldn’t keep still.

“For now. Yes.”

“You usually stay through the summer.”

“I do, but Jane’s here, so…”

“Yeah, Jane’s here,” Anna echoed.

There was something there that wasn’t there a week ago.  Elsa could already feel the change between them and a charge of energy in the air.  Anna should have hated her after that kiss in the barn, she’d certainly been angry enough just after.

Elsa had never been so scared.  Afraid that Anna would see that kiss for what it really was.  The dirty little secret she’d kept buried in that deep dark basement where she tucked away years of fear and resentment.  She had no right to those feelings, the blood that they shared was proof enough of that.  And yet—

_She touched me._

“You gonna stay there for the rest of the summer?”

“I’m not sure. Nothing’s been decided.”

“Oh, well… don’t stay a stranger,” Anna replied, but there was a trace of disappointment in her voice even as she smiled up at Elsa.

_That goofy smile again._

“You know,” Elsa began slowly, and with the slightest look of hesitation in her eyes.  “It’s—it’s not like you wouldn’t be welcome if you wanted to come by the ranch.  And we’ll probably run into each other at the Rodeo—”

The hallway light switch flicked on and they nearly jumped as their eyes adjusted to the onslaught of bright light.

Jane came leaping up the stairs and latched onto Elsa from behind, shaking her eagerly, squealing and bounding up and down like a child on a sugar high.

“Fooood!” Jane practically sang.  “Your aunt just invited us for dinner.  Do you know what that means?”  She paused and stared impatiently at Elsa, waiting for a reply.

“Food?”

Jane rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Yes food, but more importantly, _home cooked food._   I haven’t had a home cooked meal in ages!”

“But didn’t you wanna head back to the house and unwind?”

“Oh, let’s stay!”  Jane pleaded.  “They’re gonna barbeque.”

Anna giggled and Jane quickly realized her manners.

“Anna!  Gosh, just look at you!  All grown up.”

“I guess I am,” Anna shyly replied.

“Something about you seems different though,” Jane teasingly mused as she took a step closer to Anna, peering into her face.  “Have you gotten taller?  Contacts, maybe?  Wait, you never wore glasses.  Um, a boyfriend, then?  Maybe the taste of _forbidden_ love?”

Anna’s face flushed a shade of red.  The hue slowly tinted her cheeks and spread along the freckled path of her nose and cheekbones.  She briefly caught her cousin’s eye before she cast her gaze to the ground.  Elsa looked away as well, feeling just as embarrassed.

 _It’ probably nothing_ , she told herself, daring to steal another glance at Anna, remembering the tender way their hands had touched just days before.

_Nothing at all._

~X~

Jane wasn’t sure if she should think what she thought.  It could have been a fabrication of her wild imagination.  Like when she imagined—well, fantasized, really—that Zan was an Earl and the heir to a billion dollar empire, except that he was secretly a feral ape man, a Lord of the Jungle with tight and rippling muscles cascading down his body.

But as much as Jane wanted to chalk it up to her overly active imagination, her imagination had nothing to with the way Elsa tried _not_ to look at Anna during dinner, or the furtive glances Anna cast in Elsa’s direction when her back was turned.  And her imagination certainly didn’t fabricate that spin-the-bottle game all those many years ago.

“We’re going to a bonfire tomorrow night,” Jane told Anna and Kristoff after they polished off their plates, all the while peering at Elsa from the corner of her eye.  “You guys should come.  It’s gonna mostly be people from our graduating class, but who doesn’t remember Anna?  You two were just as inseparable back then.”

Kristoff’s eyes lit up.

“Oh yeah!  I ran into Flynn Rider a few weeks ago and he’d mentioned that he and the guys were thinking of doing something.  But that bastard never called me back,” Kristoff grumbled, yet it was clear from the good humor in Kristoff’s eyes that he wasn’t remotely upset.

He slipped an arm around Anna’s shoulder and pulled her close.

“You can count on this fantastic duo to make an appearance,” he said as he pinched Anna’s cheek with his extended hand.  Anna took hold of his index and pointer fingers, twisting them with just enough force for Kristoff to cry out.

“ _Anna, please! I give_ ,” he whimpered, his face twisted comically in pain.

“And?”

“No more pinching.   _I swear._ ”

Anna released his fingers and Kristoff pulled back his arm, cradling his aching hand against his chest.

“Meanie,” he muttered, and Anna beamed a wide smile toothy smile at him.

Jane laughed.  “I still can’t believe you two never dated, and to think that everyone thought you two were an item in high school.”

“Vicious rumors,” Kristoff asserted in mock exasperation.   

“Ugh, that Merida is such a liar!”  Jane cried out.  “I actually believed her when she said that she saw you two kissing at the drive-in during spring break of our senior year.”

Kristoff grinned sheepishly, anxiously glancing at Elsa before he replied.

“Well, that rumor  _may_  have actually been true.”

Jane’s eyes darted between Anna and Kristoff, her brows knit in confusion.  Anna’s entire body stiffened, and her smile swiftly evaporated from her face.  She stared hard at her hands as they rested in her lap, picking at her cuticles.  Kristoff didn’t seem to notice, he was far more concerned by Elsa’s reaction, evidenced by the way he kept searching her eyes.

“But it’s true that we were never a couple,” Kristoff quickly explained.  “We’re just good friends.  Like  _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid._ ”  He playfully socked Anna on the shoulder.  “Right,  _Butch_?”

Anna looked up with a plastic smile and laughed softly.

“Right,  _Kid_.”

Elsa had remained quiet the entire time, a diverted outsider looking in.  If she was bothered, her bright eyes and softly upturned lips didn’t betray her, but Jane didn’t miss the way Elsa’s nails dug into the table.

Jane felt partly to blame, and still, she wasn’t sure about her muddled suspicions, she just knew they needed to talk about something else, _anything else_ , or that table would not survived the night.

“So Anna, _tell me_ ,” Jane said with an unabashed glint in her eyes.  “You wouldn’t happen to know if Esmeralda Romani got fat, _would you_?”

They excused themselves shortly after.

Jane was tempted to question Elsa when they made their way up to the guest room to collect Elsa’s things.  The words were just begging to come out.  Jane was never the kind of person who bit back her words.  It had cost her many friendships over the years.  Except for Elsa.  Elsa had been the only friend who stuck around.  Jane could say anything to her and trust that Elsa would understand her neurotic ways.

But she couldn’t ask her about this.

Elsa grabbed her suitcase and Jane helped her with the carryon bag.  She stepped into the hallway when she realized that that Elsa had not followed behind her.  Jane looked back.  Elsa stood at the foot of the bed, looking uncertain as she hesitantly picked up a leather cowboy hat.

“Elsa? You forget something?”

“No,” she replied, setting the hat down on the mattress.  “It’s nothing.”

She took a hold of her suitcase and rolled it out the room, flicking off the light switch on her way out the door.

 

_...to be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get a chance to edit. Sorry for any glaring errors.


	5. Anna

Anna got up just before the sun that next morning with a heavy groan. It was minutes before her alarm went off, and as much as she hated it, it wasn't enough time to bother falling back asleep.

_The bonfire is tonight._

Despite Kristoff's pleas last night, Anna couldn't bring herself to go. She could already see herself awkwardly stuffing her face at the snack table by herself.

"I'm not stopping you," she'd told him when she refused to budge on her decision.

She sleepily dragged her feet across the room and knocked twice on the bathroom door connecting her room to Elsa's before she remembered that Elsa had moved back home last night. Elsa hadn't just cleared out her room, she'd taken her facewash and her toothbrush too. _She even took her bathrobe and slippers._ But she hadn't taken her shampoo. Anna decided to try it, and couldn't explain the strange empty feeling after when she realized how much the lingering scent in her hair reminded her of her cousin.

It was strange how much her presence had affected her. They barely spoke a word to each other all summer up until days ago and yet, Anna felt so gawky around Elsa. But now that she wasn't there, Anna felt a bit weighed down. Quite the opposite from the last several summers. Elsa's departure used to be accompanied by relief. Anna could get up in the morning without worrying about her frayed hair before going down to breakfast. But now she was far more aware of her absence, and of that funny ache that persisted in the pit of her stomach.

Anna hurried getting dressed. She threw on a pair of faded torn jeans, an unironed red and black plaid top, her dusty red converse shoes, and pulled her damp hair into two messy braids. _So unpretty,_ she fleetingly thought as she glimpsed herself in the mirror before she bent over and quickly tied her laces. She wanted to give herself extra time to drive her pickup to the shop. Audrey's Auto Repair didn't open until eight, but there was always a line of clients waiting at the gate long before that and Anna wanted to be the first in line.

 _It's just gonna be another loud drunken party. No reason to go._ But she couldn't deny that a part of her had wanted to go after all. _And she'll be there too._

"Be sure to take her real slow," her father told her before he and mother headed off to the cattle auction. "Make a few stops and let her engine cool if you must. Call Kristoff if you get stuck."

Ten miles took about an hour. Anna typically flew on those country roads with the windows rolled down and wind running through her hair, but today she was practically crawling at 30mph. She stopped three times when the engine started to overheat, and waited with the hood popped open for it to cool off. Her hands were blackened from the grease and she wondered if Elsa ever got her hands dirty. But she couldn't imagine those perfect pristine fingernails soiled with oil and engine muck. She remembered how soft those hands were, and a warm blush crawled up her collar.

"Having some car trouble, hon?" A woman called out through the rolled down window from the car stopped in the next lane over. They were both waiting at the first light going into town.

Anna immediately recognized her and leaned toward her passenger window. "Yeah, I'm dropping her off at your shop," she explained to Audrey Ramirez, the owner of the Audrey's Auto Repair, and longtime family friend. "She's been overheating."

Audrey couldn't miss the trail of white smoke creeping from the hood of the old pickup.

"Park her up in front of the back gate. Don't worry about blocking the driveway," Audrey said just as the light turned green and she started creeping forward. "I'll meet you there after I pick up breakfast."

Audrey drove straight past the light, and Anna turned left. She drove straight to the back of the shop and parked in the driveway up against the back gate. Just in time too, the steam was now hissing loudly through the crevices of the hood. As soon as she cut the motor, the large garage door of the shop rolled up and one of the front counter employees stood holding a clipboard under his arm and stared at her, glaring under the rising sun.

"You can't park there!" he yelled, walking toward her now. "Can't you read?" He pointed to the sign on the chain-linked gate. "You need to park up at the front and get in line."

Anna cursed under her breath.

_Of all people…_

After Hans quit, rumors had it that he'd moved on to Sacramento. Something about him getting a fancy internship with the prosecutor's office. Surprising really, considering that his daddy cut him off a few years back after he got expelled from Isles College, a private university founded by his own great-great grandfather. A fact that Hans often bragged about before they kicked him out for smashing the founder's statue with his sports car during a drunken drag race. Hans got off the hook with the law, but it cost daddy-big-bucks a chunk of change.

And yet here he was, still in town, dressed in a crisp white shirt and khakis, and glaring at Anna with those dogged eyes.

"Why, if it isn't our resident Plain Jane!" He exclaimed mockingly as he got close enough to see her face under the glare. "I see you still haven't figured out how to use a hairbrush."

Anna climbed out of the truck, self-consciously glancing at her reflection in the side mirror before she swung the door shut. Her braids were frayed and there was a smudge of grease under her chin. She wanted to wipe it off, but she couldn't bear the thought of his satisfied smirk, knowing that he had gotten to her. He always got to her.

"I got permission from Audrey to park here," she told him gruffly as she rounded the pickup, and she wondered how she'd ever considered him handsome.

"Is that right?" He stared suspiciously, but he wasn't stupid enough to shrug her off, especially knowing that the Aarons and the Ramirez's went way back.

"Sure did. I'm surprised to see you here though, especially after you told my father that you were too good to be doing something so decidedly beneath you," Anna held up her keys. "How _is_ it going in Sacramento?"

Hans begrudgingly yanked the keys from her hand and stuck them to the clipboard.

"You'll need to sign in at the front counter. Wait in line until we open." And with that said, he stormed off.

As soon as he disappeared back into the shop, Anna felt her entire body unclench and she exhaled sharply. To say that Hans Isles rubbed her the wrong way was like saying that the earth was round and the sky was blue. It was as certain as the stars in the cosmos.

As certain as Elsa Aaron's azure blue eyes.

At a minute past eight, Hans opened the office doors and the long line moved forward. Anna checked in and looked on as one of the shop boys wheeled the pickup into the garage bay for inspection. Audrey showed up minutes later with an extra cup of coffee for Anna before she disappeared into the garage. No cream, two sugars.

Forty minutes later Audrey came back with the bad news.

"We're looking at a head gasket replacement," she told Anna. "Oil leaked into the radiator too, but luckily we can just flush it and it should be fine. We will have to replace the hoses, though."

Anna could already see a good chunk of the money she'd earned that summer quickly disappear, even with the discount Audrey usually applied.

"It's gonna be at least a few days. I should have it ready for you by Thursday, but don't worry about gettin' home, I'll make sure Hans gives you a ride."

She politely declined. There was no way in hell that Anna was going to take any rides from Hans Isles, no matter how nicely his shirts were pressed or how brightly his teeth sparkled whenever he turned on the charm. Not that he ever turned it on in her direction.

"You sure?"

"It's fine, Audrey. I've already arranged for Kristoff to pick me up."

But he didn't answer. Anna let the phone ring and hung up just before it went to voicemail. Minutes later she rang him again, and still no answer. She left him a message this time, and it wasn't pretty.

"So much for Kristoff's help," she grumbled to herself under her breath.

She wandered to the corner lot, and took shelter against a tarp-covered fence. It was hours away from midday, and the heat was becoming unbearable, her neck and scalp already beading with sweat. _She probably never sweats,_ she thought as she considered going back inside. But going back into the air-conditioned shop meant admitting she had no ride. It meant an insufferable car ride with Hans. And that was a favor she didn't want to owe.

But there was one other person that she could call. Anna wondered if it was too early to call at nine a.m. on a Saturday, but she dialed before she lost her nerve.

"Hello, Elsa? It's me, Anna. I was hoping you could do me a favor."

~X~

It would be another twenty minutes before Elsa arrived to pick her up. She sounded wide awake over the phone, but Anna could hear a sleepy Jane grumble and whine in the background, and figured that she'd woken her up after all.

Within minutes of that call, Anna found herself near a dried up rose bush at the back of the shop, moving along with the shifting shade as the sun climbed higher. She supposed she could have gone back to the shop and waited to be picked up in the waiting room after all, but the idea of having Hans' glare burn holes into the back of her neck was hardly appealing.

Anna was surprised to find Esmeralda Romani loitering at the back door of the shop. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there, but Esmeralda looked restless and out of place. Anna considered calling out to her, but she wasn't certain if Esmeralda would even remember her. Not only were they in different graduating classes, but they were also in very different social circles. Esmeralda Romani was not at all rich, but she ran with the glitter and glam crowd. Girls in skimpy outfits who knew every hot club scene, rave, or house party ahead of the crowd; who blew up twitter with the latest trends and gossip. A darling of local social media. Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat; you name it and Esmeralda Romani ruled it with hordes of followers hanging onto her every word.

Anna had a Gmail account.

The backdoor opened and Hans sauntered out. Anna ducked behind the rose bushes and froze when Hans wordlessly pressed Esmeralda up against the wall and engaged her mouth in a long breathless kiss. Even someone like Esmeralda Romani was not immune to his charms. They kissed like they meant it too. Not those soft innocent pecks that her parents exchanged in the mornings. Their kisses had a rawness to them, and Anna felt compelled to look away. Her own lips ached as she remembered the kiss that was taken from her all those many days ago, and she wondered what it meant to long for something that she didn't quite understand.

Elsa's dark blue Audi rolled into the parking lot and Anna quickly bolted, not bothering to mask her presence. She practically skid on the front passenger seat when she pulled open the door and ducked inside.

"Thanks for the ride," she mumbled. Anna felt her face go bright red and she couldn't quite look her cousin in the eye.

"Anytime."

She wasn't so sure why she was so embarrassed. Maybe it was because she practically had been spying on Hans and Esmeralda not one minute ago. They were obviously hiding their relationship. _What normal couple meet up by a back entrance near a dumpster?_ But Anna never got this embarrassed whenever she was forced to ask couples sucking face in front of her school locker to move out of the way.

Whatever her reasons, she felt even more self-conscious sitting next to Elsa. Even the tips of her ears burned.

 _She smells nice,_ Anna noted. _She smells nice and she probably just woke up too._

She bit back the sudden urge to lean over and sniff her cousin. _If I do that it's official, I'm creepy. Elsa will tell Jane, and Jane will tell every soul in Aarondale that Anna Aarons is a creepy farmer fangirl. No thank you._

Anna stole a glance at Elsa.

She was dressed in stylishly torn cutoff shorts and a sleeveless drapey top. A cluster of silver bracelets clinked around her wrist as she brushed her bangs away from her eyes. Even in something so simple, Elsa looked elegant. Anna wasn't sure if it was because her cutoffs were so short, but Elsa's toned and slender legs seemed longer somehow.

"Are you going to the bonfire tonight?" Elsa asked, and Anna quickly averted her eyes, stiffly staring forward.

"I don't know. I don't think so."

"Kristoff will be disappointed."

"He can always go without me."

Elsa looked like she wanted to add something, but whatever it was, she didn't bother to say. The car pulled out of the parking lot, and Anna stared out the window as they drove in the opposite direction of her house.

"I have an errand to run before I drop you off," Elsa explained. "I hope you don't mind."

"It's fine," Anna replied. She wondered again about that feeling in the pit of her stomach, the ache and longing for something she couldn't quite put into words. It was a frustrating feeling that left her baffled and nervous. "I'm in no rush to be anywhere."

And for once, a part of her hoped that time could stand still.

~X~

"Is it supposed to do that?" Elsa asked, a perplexed brow raised up high. She held up the giant foaming brush for Anna to see. Elsa had never washed a car before that day, let alone been to a self-service car wash. Anna didn't have to ask Elsa to confirm her suspicions. She could see it in her cousin's eyes.

"You use it to scrub down the car," she replied pulling the second brush hanging from the rack, foam dripping thickly from its bristles. "Watch me first. Just remember to scrub the rims and tires last."

Anna felt oddly confident knowing that she was the one leading for once. Perfect Elsa depending on her. Maybe it was silly. After all, they were just washing her car. But she liked the feeling a lot more than she wanted to admit.

Anna began with the rear window, scrubbing hard and quick in long strokes before she moved onto the body. Elsa observed her for a moment, then quickly started with the front window, mimicking Anna's movements. She looked uncomfortable swiping the brush up and down and moving around the car in her strappy wedges. Anna was about to suggest that she take them off when Elsa bent over and unfastened the straps, kicking her shoes off to the side. Her shirt had ridden up and when she came back up her pale skin was exposed over the hem of her shorts. Anna tried her best not to look, unable to explain why she persistently failed.

The self-service car wash had been Anna's idea. They'd already pulled into _Oaken's Car Sauna & Detail _and parked, when Anna reached over and stopped Elsa from unbuckling her seatbelt. She ignored the tingling in her fingers when their hands bumped.

"You can't be serious," she'd told her. "Forty dollars is ridiculous for a car wash."

"But we always get our cars detailed here."

" _Not today."_

Elsa had looked bewildered when she read through the different wash modes on the coin select box at the self-service car wash.

"Are you telling me that this single nozzle sprays tire cleaner, water, _and_ wax rinse?" Elsa had asked as she pointed at the spray gun.

She looked serious as she diligently scrubbed the rims. _So focused,_ Anna mused _. You'd think she was performing brain surgery._

"Gross," Elsa grimaced. Oily grime had splattered off the brush onto her thighs, streaking down her legs.

It was a temptation Anna could not ignore.

Summer had been so boring before that past week. It would have blown past like all the others had it not been for Elsa. Whether it was good or bad, Elsa was to blame, and Anna suddenly felt impishly inspired to get her back for the confusion of the past several days. So she grabbed the spray gun and switched the setting to rinse. She aimed the nozzle and, without a second thought, pulled the trigger. Drenching Elsa from the waist down.

Elsa shrieked. Another first.

"Anna!"

Elsa dove for the second spray gun and turned it on her cousin, getting her square in the chest. Anna couldn't contain her laughter even as she tried to duck behind the car, but Elsa came after her, her laughter ringing in the air.

The girls' squeals could be heard down the block as they continued to splash each other. Anna fired back, but Elsa was determined not to stand down. They were drenched from head to toe by the time the timer ran out.

"You should come tonight," Elsa said as she squeezed the water out of her silvery blonde hair.

It startled Anna to realize how breathless she suddenly felt. And squeamish.

She had to be coming down with something. The flu, maybe. But the sensations were unlike any flu she'd ever experienced. It wasn't a nauseating feeling like she normally expected, it was more like a tingling. A fluttery sensation that left her feeling breathless and restless, and terribly flushed, even as cold water dripped down her hair and clothes.

"I don't know." Anna looked down at her shoes. A puddle of water had formed at her feet. "I hardly know anyone that's going."

Elsa tugged at Anna's wet sleeve as she hunched over and peered at Anna's downcast face.

"You know me," she told her. "And you know Kristoff. And Jane."

"Yeah."

"At least think it over."

She was still wet when she got into the car and eased onto the leather seats. Elsa had insisted despite Anna's protests. In fact, it seemed that Elsa was not someone that accepted no for an answer. Anna had been squeezing the water from the hem of her jeans when Elsa suggested she take them off and strain them out by hand.

"Hand them to me, I'll do it for you," she had an expectant look in her eyes, and Anna wondered if Elsa realized exactly what it was that she was asking of her.

"No way. We're out it public. Someone will see!"

Elsa ignored all objections and Anna nearly died from sheer embarrassment when she found herself being pantsed in the car wash stall with just the open car door and Elsa to block any onlookers.

Anna was still bright red when Elsa dropped her off at home fifteen minutes later.

"Maybe I'll see you tonight?" Her cousin pressed once again, her face lit up wistfully.

"I'll think about it."

Elsa drove off and Anna watched her go until her car disappeared down the long dusty driveway. Her hair was still dripping wet when she made her way inside to the kitchen. Kristoff stood behind the island counter making himself a sandwich, with a slice of white bread half stuffed in his mouth. He looked up, biting off a chunk even as he curiously knit his brows at her.

"What happened to you?" He mumbled with a mouthful.

"Um, w-water," Anna dumbly replied. She wanted to gripe at him for not answering his phone earlier, but that weird fluttery and queasy feeling had not gone away yet, and it was leaving her tongue-tied. If anything, it seemed to have gotten worse.

Kristoff raised a brow and took a sip from his coke.

"You're creeping me out," he told her.

"Huh?"

"That look on your face. Like you're lovesick or something. Stop it, it's creepy."

Kristoff grabbed a slice of bread and playfully mashed it over Anna's face, laughing obnoxiously as she peeled it off. It was just what she needed to snap her out of her stupor. So she thanked him by kicking him in the shins. Hard.

~X~

They left for the bonfire just before sundown.

Anna had tried on every shirt in her closet before reluctantly settling on a pink and white plaid top buttoned over a wife-beater. It frustrated her to realize that most of her shirts were practically the same boyish style with only minor variations. And for the first time, she regretted all those times she declined her mother's offer to take her shopping.

She dug out the dusty makeup kit her aunt gave her the year before on her 17th birthday. Anna never cared for makeup. The most she ever did in the name of beautification was wash her face with antibacterial soap. Her own mother had never pressed Anna with those things. Jenn Aarons liked gussying up and going out dancing whenever she and her husband could spare the time, but Anna's mother had always understood that she just wasn't that girl, the kind that used makeup, and wore pretty dresses, and fluttered her eyelashes at boys.

But today Anna didn't mind applying a tad of something different. A touch of lip-gloss. Pink and glittery, but not so much that it would stand out. She tweezed her eyebrows too, just enough to give them a clean look. The first and last time she'd ever tried to shape them, she'd ended up with one brow higher than the other. Her homeroom teacher had called on her every day that week, mistaking her crooked eyebrows for confusion.

Anna and Kristoff hitched a ride with Ryder after Kristoff volunteered them to help load and unload the kegs. Two half barrels and a sixth with light beer for the drinkers who couldn't hold their liquor. _The things he volunteers us for just to get free beer._ But secretly, Anna hoped that he'd packed the beer hat with the giant straws.

They set up the drinking stations and guests gradually began to show. Adam Beastly brought six bottles of tequila from his father's stash, and Tadashi Hamada donated a dozen bags of party-sized chips from his family's convenience store. Someone brought brownies, which excited Anna but Ryder cautioned her against them.

"Trust me, you don't wanna dig into _those._ "

And yet, five minutes later he was helping himself to a couple of those brownies, and washing them down with beer.

Every time Anna heard the sound of a car door slam shut, she looked anxiously toward ol' Stu Hopps' overgrown field, where all the new arrivals parked their cars in rows. It was hard to hide her disappointment each time it turned out not to be her.

Anna had finished helping Tadashi assemble firewood into the giant pit when she saw Hans Isles and Merida Dunbroch climb out of Hans's metallic blue Mazda hatchback. It was hardly the fancy sports car that he used to drive around when his daddy used to cover his expenses, but that didn't dampen his boastful rich-boy ways. Even the way he walked was arrogant.

_Once an asshole, always an asshole._

Seeing him and his cocky smirk left a bad taste in Anna's mouth and she suddenly wished she hadn't come after all.

Hans walked down toward a group of people that Anna didn't recognize. Merida held onto his arm and pressed against him possessively, and it was not hard to guess that Merida believed the two-timing Han Isles to be exclusively attached to her. At least Anna figured as much, after all, Merida was not the kind of girl who liked to share, especially with a party girl like Esmeralda Romani.

Anna sourly knit her brows. She and Merida had hardly been on friendly terms even when Merida came for horseback riding lessons with Kai and Anna's mother, but Merida had always respected her as a member of the family. Eventually Merida got good enough that Jenn invited her to compete in rodeo events with the farm as her sponsor. She dominated in most events two years in a row and seemed to be satisfied training under Kai, so it was surprising when she suddenly quit this summer.

_Now it's not too hard to guess why._

Even so, Anna couldn't help but wonder if she should say something about seeing Hans and Esmeralda together or just keep her trap shut and stay out of it.

Kristoff came up beside her and sneered in Hans' direction.

"Can't believe he has the nerve to show his face after the stunt he pulled," Kristoff grumbled.

"He's hardly killed anyone. There's no law against quitting," Anna pointed out. "Besides, that has nothing to do with anyone here." But she couldn't shake off her annoyance all the same.

"Well, he'd better not try anything with Elsa," Kristoff said as he brushed his fingers through his hair, and Anna realized for the first time that he was wearing cologne and a new cowboy shirt. He'd even shaven the stubble off his face, and had a small nick under his chin to show for it.

Her heart sank.

_He's planning on making his move tonight. And he's serious about it this time._

"You still haven't made your move on Aarons, Bjorgman?" Tadashi asked, laughing as he came up behind Kristoff and smacked him on the back. "How long have you been chasing that tail, now? Seven? Eight years?"

"Six," Anna chimed in, forcing a stiff laugh.

"Shut it, you two. And since when are you an eavesdropper, Hamada?" Kristoff fixed his collar and tugged on the brim of his hat to hide his embarrassment, but neither of them were fooled. "Your teasing will be moot after tonight," he muttered.

"Oh? Is that right?" Tadashi replied, but Anna could see that he wasn't convinced by Kristoff's insinuation. "Then I guess it's show time, cowboy!"

Tadashi gave a startled Kristoff a quick shove forward, and before Kristoff could complain, Tadashi pointed toward the Audi that had pulled in and parked in Hopps' field. Elsa and Jane were already climbing out of the car.

"Your prize has arrived."

Kristoff flushed red and turned toward the keg, filling his cup and chugging it down, all within seconds.

"It's now or never," he muttered to himself as he shoved the empty plastic cup toward Anna. He turned to her with a nervous look, but smiled when she gave him an encouraging nod.

One last encouraging word from Tadashi, and Kristoff began making his way toward Elsa, self-consciously checking his breath before he approached.

"What do you wanna bet that he chokes again?" Tadashi grinned broadly, but Anna was in no mood for jokes.

"He'll go through with it," she answered glumly, jabbing her hands in her jean pockets. "I need a beer."

_I don't think I can bear to watch._

Leaving Tadashi to spectate on his own, she walked away and smudged off the lip gloss with the back of her hand. Anna wasn't sure why she felt so stupid, but if she didn't do something soon, she was certain she would cry.

She went straight to the snack table in the opposite direction of Elsa and Kristoff, where the first bottle of tequila had nearly been polished off. There was maybe three shots worth left.

 _This will definitely do nicely_.

Anna drained tequila into her cup and topped it off with coke. The warmth began to spread in her chest by the third sip, and before she'd finished the last drop Anna was grinning idiotically, shuffling and swaying toward the nearest bonfire circle, in rhythm with the loud music.

Nearly half of Elsa and Kristoff's graduating class had made it to the party, including some who were a few grades above or below, like herself. Several brought a plus one, including Peter Panning, the class clown, and king of everything immature and obnoxious. Even he'd managed to get a girl to go with him.

"No way! Bjorgman's finally moving in on Aarons?" She heard Peter nearly shout, followed by a loud shush. Probably his date.

"I thought they were already dating," another chimed in.

"You're probably thinking of the kid cousin."

"Who?" yet another voice joined in.

"The tomboy with the braids that always followed him around."

"The farmer girl?"

"Wait, those two are cousins?"

"I would never have guessed."

"I hear their dads are identical twins."

"Elsa's daddy got most of the family inheritance."

"No way!"

Anna crammed a hot dog into her mouth and tugged her cap over her flushed face as she tried to slip away unnoticed.

Unfortunately she couldn't see where she was going and smacked right into Merida, knocking her back onto her ass and dropping the hot dog square in her lap. Ketchup spattered on her face.

"Watch it!" Merida snapped, brushing the hot dog off her skirt and wiping her face, but her frown eased up a little when she recognized Anna.

" _So sorry_ ," Anna scrambled to help her up to her feet, and tried to dust off her skirt, before Merida slapped her hands away.

"It's fine," Merida replied less irritably this time, and looking rather embarrassed. "Just watch where you're going, okay?"

Anna nodded then reached awkwardly for Merida's nose, wiping off a fleck of red sauce.

"You missed a spot."

She realized that Merida was by herself. Hans didn't appear to be anywhere in sight. She glanced around just to be sure and, taking a deep breath, she decided that she was not going to stay out of it after all.

_I'm so gonna live to regret this._

"Merida, can I talk to you for a bit? There's something that you should probably know."

~X~

She had guessed right. Judging from the face Merida made when Anna told her about Hans and Esmeralda, she didn't have a clue that she'd been sharing her boyfriend. Merida had grown strangely quiet after Anna broke the story to her. _Too quiet._ There had been an uncomfortable silence before Merida thanked her and walked away.

Anna was still wondering if she'd done the right thing when she made her way back to the snack table for one, two, three more shots and a handful of Cheetos.

So far things had ended up more or less as she'd predicted; alone at the snack table, stuffing her face with chips. She snuck a peek back toward where she'd last seen Kristoff, but there was no sight of him or Elsa. Or even Jane.

 _Did he ask her already? Maybe they wandered off to be alone somewhere private._ She reached for an unopened bottle.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Anna heard Ryder shout behind her. She turned to find him holding up a can of beer and a pen to her face. "Looks like you're in the party spirit. Wanna join me for a game?"

_Beer shotgunning._

She put up her hands in protest and was about to turn him down when she caught sight of Elsa and Kristoff just over Ryder's shoulder. They were sitting cross-legged on the ground, the bonfire burning behind them, and they were leaning toward each other as they spoke, smiling. And laughing.

The corner of Anna's mouth twitched and her eyes flickered.

"Yes. Line 'em up," she told Ryder, and he replied with a loud whoop.

The game was simple: the person to drink the most beers within sixty seconds was declared winner. No prizes, no favors, just bragging rights. _Pretty stupid, really._ And yet there she was, holding the tip of the pen near the bottom of the can, readying for the signal to start. Anna had never played before, though she'd often watched and laughed at Kristoff whenever he did.

"Remember the rules," Tadashi said as he stepped forward from the crowd that was suddenly, and to Anna's mounting apprehension, beginning to circle around them. "Throwing up or passing out before the sixty seconds are up leads to automatic disqualification. Understood?"

Anna nodded mutely, but glassy-eyed Ryder hardly seemed cognizant of what had been said.

"Beer!" He shouted, pulling off his shirt and thumping his chest to the cheering crowd.

She couldn't see Elsa or Kristoff anymore now that a large number of partiers had gathered around them, but she could see Jane pushing her way through the crowd.

"Alright, Anna!" Jane cheered when she cut to the front, holding up her cup of brew. "Never knew you had it in you, farm girl."

She gave Jane a dopey grin, already feeling the effects of the tequila shots she had just taken. For the first time, since she'd known Jane, hearing herself being called farm girl had a welcome ring to it.

_I really must be drunk._

Tadashi raised his arm up in the air.

"On my mark," he declared. "Get set. _Go!_ "

He swung his arm down, and Anna instantly jabbed the beer can, and pressed the punctured opening to her lips before she popped open the top. Buzzed as she already was, Anna was not prepared for the torrent of beer that flushed down her throat, and she nearly choked on it.

"Chug! Chug," the crowd chorus, and Anna managed to finish her first beer without coughing it up.

Ryder grunted loudly when he finished his, crushing the can over his forehead. Anna spared no time, and stabbed her second can. By the time she started on her third can, she'd looked up to find Elsa and Kristoff standing amongst the cheering crowd, near the back. Perplexed as he looked, Kristoff had joined the chant.

But the look Elsa gave her.

Anna squeezed her eyes shut and popped open the can, focusing on the task at hand. Her head was flooded with beer now, heavy and light all at once, and her knees buckled slightly. As soon as she finished, her arm dropped heavily onto the table in front of her, half crushing the beer can in her hand against the surface.

It was that same look from the barn. Those wide curious eyes. Anna had made an ass of herself, but Elsa had seemed amused, if anything. It was more than that, though. It was a look that teased and shimmered, and it had left her feeling beguiled.

She cracked open the fourth beer, and fought the gag that came halfway through.

 _Don't throw up. Don't throw up,_ Anna silently chanted to herself. But she just couldn't get the rest of the alcohol to go down. Her throat seized up, and the torrent of beer flushed out of the can and down her chin.

Twelve seconds left on the clock and she was already done.

"Looks like we have a winner," Tadashi announced as Ryder slurped up his fourth can and raised his arms in victory. The crowd began their countdown from ten.

"Niiine!"

"Eiiigght!"

"Seeevenn!"

"Siiix-!"

With a wide, confident smirk etched on his face, Ryder ripped out a loud wet burp, and a torrent of tepid beer came pouring out of him. Tadashi jumped back, barely dodging beer vomit, and laughter rippled from the crowd as several pulled out their phone, snapping pictures.

"Two!"

"One!"

Ryder fell to his knees, dry-heaving, and groaned out, "Oh god, oh god," before he spouted several more ounces. Some of it out his nose.

Tadashi took Anna's hand, raising her arm victoriously up in the air.

"Anna Aarons! Ladies and Gentlemen! We have our first winner of the night!" Tadashi shouted even as Ryder struggled to get to his feet.

Jane whooped and Kristoff shook his fist in the air, chanting Anna's name until it was on the lips of every spectator in the crowd. Elsa simply laughed, shaking her head in disbelief.

With nearly four beers in under a minute and, god knows, how many shots of tequila, Anna's legs gave out under her. Tadashi was swift to hold her up, and she quickly steadied herself once more, but the crowd and the stars were swaying so terribly that it made her head spin.

So she laughed. Not that she knew _why_ it was funny, but it simply was. She laughed like she would never stop, squeezing her eyes shut tight as her drunken laughter took a hold of her. When she opened her eyes, Han Isles was standing over her, his face twisted up in a clownish scowl. And she laughed even harder.

Then Hans' fist cracked over her face, exploding over her nose and her cheekbone. Within seconds she was on the ground, and suddenly Han's scowl didn't seem so funny anymore.

It felt like her nose had been shattered into a million pieces, but when Anna reached up and grazed her fingers over the tender nostrils, she could feel it whole and intact. Her eyes teared up and pinched from the pain, and when she licked her upper lip it tasted like pennies.

"You bastard!" She heard Kristoff scream in anger, then a shuffle in the crowd, and she could only assume he was trying to force his way through.

"She broke up with me because of you!" Hans spat out bitterly, and it took her a moment of focus before she was no longer seeing double of him. "I've had it with your family. Your father is just some dirt poor farmer, but he thinks himself better than me. Elsa's nothing more than a self-righteous cock tease. And now you, a nothing. A homely rat, at best."

"Get out of here, man." Tadashi got up to Han's face and shoved him back enough to put some distance between him and Anna. Kristoff was not far behind, already looking like he was ready to pounce, and Elsa just an arm's length behind him, concern painted all over her face.

Anna pushed herself up to her feet. The pain in her face was very real, but the strength in her body quickly recovered with the adrenaline and anger seething in her veins. For all her boldness, she was always uncertain of her own self-worth, always with the doubt. But now she burned.

"I know it was you, Aarons. You saw us, didn't you? So you decided to stick your nose where it didn't belong. You told Merida, and Merida told Esme. And now it's ov-"

_Shut up._

A fist tore through the air, cracking loudly over flesh and cartilage.

Hans crumpled hard onto the ground, dropping loudly like a sack of potatoes before he pulled himself to his knees, hunched over, wailing and nursing his nose with both hands. A crowd of stunned, speechless faces with mouths agape looked on as Anna collected her breath from the punch she'd just thrown, her fist clenched tightly and shaking. No one had seen it coming.

Not even Anna.

~X~

There was hardly a scratch on her.

The crowd had quickly dispersed shortly after, relocating back to the bonfires, roasting hotdogs and marshmallows over the flames. A few decided it would be fun to go skinny dipping in the lake. And Hans was left where he had fallen; a tearful, banged up mess.

Anna felt surprisingly fine. She still had a bit of a buzz from the alcohol in her blood, and so long as she didn't touch her nose, it felt as good as new.

"I can't believe you did that," Kristoff voiced in awe. "I never figured you had it in you, Butch."

"The asskicking farm girl of Aarondale," Jane teased. And for the second time that night, Anna didn't mind the nicknames.

Unlike Kristoff and Jane, who were practically in her face, her cousin had hung back, watching in silence where she stood. Anna felt a little bit like a show pony on display the way people kept staring in her direction.

Kristoff pulled the beer hat from a plastic bag and plopped it on Anna's head.

"You've earned this for the night."

Anna was surprised that Kristoff would surrender his favorite hat so willingly, but then she noticed the shy smile he cast in Elsa's direction and Anna just couldn't bring herself to feel glad about it. So she faked a smile.

"If she's not careful, this thing is only gonna earn her a trip to the emergency room," Jane joked as she grabbed the straws and stuffed them into Anna's mouth.

For much of the reminder of that night, Kristoff and Elsa appeared to be joined at the hip. Except for the few times that Jane cut in to steal a dance from her bestie, Kristoff had full monopoly over Elsa's dance card. Anna didn't like dancing. She never knew what to do with her arms and legs. But Jane insisted on pulling her in for a dance and Anna gave in, feeling the bravest she'd ever felt in years. Anna wasn't unnerved by the awkward way she shuffled her tipsy feet or the wooden way she moved her hips, she was too preoccupied wondering what had happened between Kristoff and Elsa.

Jane chuckled.

"You noticed, huh?" Anna looked down, realizing that Jane had caught her staring at them.

"Sort of."

"It seems that your boy and my girl are on a date tonight."

Anna's mouth went dry, and it felt like there was a giant lump in her throat when she swallowed.

"But when—?"

"Just after we got here. He asked her if she would be his date for the night."

 _He wasted no time. Good for him, I guess._ She wanted to feel glad for him, but she couldn't.

"You should have seen the stunned look on her face," Jane beamed smugly. "I've been telling her for years that Kristoff had a thing for her too."

Anna slurped on her giant beer straws, casting a glance in the direction of Kristoff and Elsa, and she was surprised when her eyes met with Elsa's.

She didn't join in more dancing after that.

Anna sat out the next dance, but as soon as she saw Jane coming back for her, Anna disappeared into the crowd and chose to bide her time at the end of the dock. She took off her socks and shoes, and rolled up the hem of her jeans before she dangled her legs into the water. She lay back onto the dock from where she sat and rested her eyes. The hat slipped off her head, and she could hear the beer cans clink and roll off the dock, into the lake. Tonight had been the most she'd drank in ages and she was ready to call it a night.

It wasn't long before she heard a pair of footsteps make their way down the dock.

_Great, she found me._

"I refuse to dance another sstep," Anna slurred, not bothering to open her eyes.

"That's probably not a bad idea," a voice that wasn't Jane's replied, and Anna's eyes shot wide open.

"E-Elsa. Hi," she said with unfiltered surprise. "I thought you were someone else."

Elsa unclasped and stepped out of her wedges then joined her on the dock. She sat on the edge and kicked her legs into the cold water. Some of the water splashed back far enough that it sprayed Anna in the face.

"It's pretty dangerous for you to be out here in your condition," Elsa said softly. Laying as she was, Anna could only see her back, but she could tell that Elsa was staring up at the stars. She wanted to sit up, but she was too drunk and her body felt like lead.

"I'm fine," Anna mumbled, and she stared up into the night sky, almost hypnotized by the glittering stars and the lulling sound of the crickets.

"You're not fine," her cousin answered sternly. The sky full of stars disappeared behind Elsa's soft features and her silvery blonde hair when she turned her hips and leaned over Anna's languid form.

 _She's shimmering too_.

Elsa looked as brilliant and shiny as the stars that looked on over them. She seemed to glow through Anna's groggy, alcohol-infused eyes.

"You're drunk off your ass. And your cheek is pretty swollen."

Elsa slowly reached for Anna's face, gently pressing her fingers over her red and swollen right cheek. At that moment Anna felt her breath constrict in her throat, and her skin fluttered where Elsa had made contact.

"It doesn't hurt at all," she lied, all the while wishing she had the strength to push herself up and sink deeper into Elsa's azure eyes.

_Why do I care so much?_

Elsa continued to gently run her fingers over the swelling, and Anna closed her eyes, feeling electrified and like she was soaring all at once. But then Elsa's hand accidentally bumped against her nose and her brain nearly flew off the rails from the pain.

"Yes, that didn't look like it hurt at all," her cousin sarcastically remarked, but when Anna opened her eyes she could only see a softness in Elsa's eyes. It bothered her that she couldn't read Elsa the way she could most other people.

_Do you like Kristoff?_

"You have pretty eyes," Anna blurted out, and Elsa stared back at her with surprise. "Like the waters of Crater Lake."

They stayed that way forever, staring into each other's eyes. At least it seemed like forever in Anna's drunken mind. But forever didn't last very long. Elsa scrambled to her feet as soon as she heard Jane call out for her from the distance.

"We need to go," Elsa told her. "Party's over."

She took Anna's hands and pulled her up to her feet. Anna stumbled a bit as she fought against gravity to regain her balance. Elsa slipped on and clasped her wedges, then waited for Anna to pull on her socks and shoes. They were starting back toward the bank of the lake when Anna gasped and suddenly turned back.

"My hat!" She shouted as she ran.

"Be careful, Anna! You'll fall in!" But Anna didn't bother to slow down until she had neared the end of the dock. She grabbed the hat from the edge of the platform, and that would have been the end of it had she not seen the shiny beer cans bobbing in the water.

"I just need to scoop out the cans," she said as Elsa approached and, before her cousin could protest, she kneeled over the edge and reached into the lake. However, she hadn't accounted for how unsteady her arms still were, and she slipped forward headfirst into the cold water.

"Anna!"

Falling into the lake was like getting a sudden infusion of sobriety. Anna latched onto a post and pushed herself back up to the surface, gasping as she came up for air. She looked up and found Elsa kneeling over the edge of the dock, staring down at her and an arm extended.

"Give me your hand."

Anna took Elsa's hand and used her free arm to steady herself on the dock. All she had to do was pull up her knee and push herself out of the water, but they were face to face now. Elsa, shimmering and glowing under the moonlight. Her breath warm on Anna's cold, wet cheeks.

Anna wasn't sure what made her do it. Maybe it was the alcohol, or elation that still lingered after knocking Hans on his ass earlier. Or maybe it was knowing that she was on a date with Kristoff. Whatever it was, when Elsa opened her mouth to speak again, Anna slipped her dripping wet arms around Elsa's neck and took her lips.

Her cousin let out a startled gasp, but she didn't pull away. Her lips, her neck, her shoulders, they felt hot against Anna's wet skin, even as she deepened the kiss. Her body trembled, and she wondered if it was from the restless nerves in her belly, or the cold water.

_I want this._

She wanted air too, though.

Slowly, Anna pulled away and wordlessly leaned her head against Elsa's shoulder, her head filled with her fragrance. She was dizzy again and her arms went limp. The last thing she remembered as her head submerged back into the water and she felt herself sink, was the soft glow of Elsa's moonlit eyes.

_I think...think I like you._

_A lot._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't edited this yet, many apologies for that. Many more apologies because I'm going to be focusing on my other story for while, so I'm not sure when I'll get back to updating this one. I know there are a lot of issues with this chapter, unfortunately I was already nearing the end when I realized it.


	6. Elsa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I haven't updated in ages, it might be helpful to peruse the previous chapter due to an overlap of events. Anyways, enjoy!

Her eyes opened wide in surprise when Anna captured her lips in a clumsy kiss.  Anna’s plaid shirt was sopping wet, and Elsa shivered as her cousin’s arms clasped firmly around her neck, dribbling water down her back and along the curve of her bare shoulders.  She gasped when Anna’s warm tongue pressed its way passed her lips and filled her mouth, still slightly bitter from the traces of beer and liquor that saturated her breath.  Anna clung tighter, and Elsa was dimly aware of the beer cans bobbing in the water, moonlight glistening off the shiny edges, when she closed her eyes and sank into the kiss. 

_This is real, right?_

It was only natural to doubt.  The kiss was surreal, like something out of a dream: Elsa leaning over the edge of the dock, and Anna clinging on; arms, lips, tongue, and her body half submerged in water.  She could see the moon rippling in the water through fluttering and half-lidded eyes as beer cans danced and sparkled on the reflective surface of the lake.  The sound of chirping crickets swelled along the bank, playing in symphony with a chorus of croaking calls from the darkness.  As loud as it was, her heart palpitations were louder.

_How could any of this be real?_

But dreams never left her trembling to the pit of her stomach, or feeling like her head was floating into limbo as her strength slowly left her.

Elsa’s eyes were still closed when Anna’s lips pulled away, and she half-expected an awkward moment of silence followed by barely passable conversation as they avoided eye contact.  But that never happened.  Anna still had her arms fastened around Elsa’s neck, their foreheads touching.  And as she slowly opened her eyes, Elsa could see thick droplets of water gathered on her cousin’s lashes.  She waited for Anna to open her eyes, still expecting some kind of acknowledgement and dawning realization to what had just transpired between them.

What she didn’t expect was Anna passing out, her arms going limp and sliding off Elsa’s neck and shoulders as she began to sink into the lake.  Just like that, the spell was broken, and Elsa dove into the water after her.

~X~

_Hours Earlier_

Elsa couldn’t have been more unnerved.  She and Jane should have been out the door and off to the party nearly an hour before, but she still hadn’t decided on an outfit, and her bedroom looked like the rummage bins at Macys after a Thanksgiving Day sale. She went through eight more outfits and a dozen pairs of shoes before she finally settled on a white vintage style summer dress with black floral print and a pair of suede ankle boots.  Jane gave her nod of approval on the outfit, the mirth never leaving her eyes as Elsa still wavered over her final decision.

“Relax,” Jane insisted as Elsa gave herself another long hard look in the mirror.  “There’s no way you’re not going to get noticed tonight.  You could show up wearing a burlap sack, and you’d _still_ be the hottest girl there.  _After me,_ _of course_ ,” she added as she tried on the pair of retro cat-eye shaped Louis Vuitton sunglasses she’d snagged from the dresser, puckering her lips in a mock air kiss.

Elsa laughed and the nerves in her belly began to dissolve.

“I knew there was a reason I still kept you around.”

Jane pushed the sunglasses up over her forehead and winked.  “It’s the British accent, right?  Drives all the guys and gals crazy.”

“You have the _crazy_ part right,” Elsa teased back.

 _Gals_ …

Elsa applied the finishing touches to her makeup and dabbed on a touch of passion lip gloss.  _She couldn’t possibly suspect, could she?_   The thought gave her pause. 

“Perfect,” Jane proclaimed while Elsa grabbed her cell phone and tucked it into her wallet case.  “You look like the quintessential girl-next-door.  Kristoff is totally gonna flip.”

 _No,_ she decided as she listened to her oldest friend prattle on about Kristoff.  _She’s completely oblivious._ And she was glad for it.

~X~

“Ugh! I could fucking kill him!”  Jane slammed her fist on the dashboard, and Elsa glared at her from behind the steering wheel.  Almost as soon as they rolled out of the driveway and off to the party, Jane’s twitter feed was bombarded with pictures of her boyfriend posing with fangirls, many of them on the receiving end of some not-so-very-chaste looking kisses.  _Apoplectic_ was the word that came to Elsa’s mind when she saw Jane’s face transition to an expression of absolute rage.  It was also the word on her Word of the Day calendar.

“Please don’t take your craziness out on my car.”

But Jane wasn’t listening, far too busy scowling at her cell phone.  She flipped through the screens in large angry gestures before she finally shut off her phone and jammed it into her purse.

“I’m done with that bastard,” Jane huffed as she tried to calm herself.

Elsa groaned, keeping her eyes on the road ahead.

“He _just_ moved in, Janey.  And you guys promised me no drama.”

“He’s the one causing drama, Els.  Kissing cute fangirls and posting it on twitter! _Did he think I wouldn’t notice?_ ”

Elsa cursed silently under her breath, then slowly counted backwards from five.  Jane was fidgeting with the hem of her dress.  Silly, loud, obnoxious Jane was anxious, and Jane was _never_ anxious.  She exhaled loudly.

“Those promo photos Zan posted were in pretty bad taste,” Elsa acknowledged sympathetically, resting a hand on Jane’s knee.  “And if you want, when we get back home after summer break, I’ll gladly help you dump his clothes out on the lawn while the neighbors watch.”  Jane smiled at the thought.  As out of character as it would be for Elsa to stoop to her own level of crazy, Jane knew she was serious about her offer.  “But tonight we should throw caution to the wind, and have fun,” Elsa went on. “Screw Zan.”

Jane nodded.

“Zan’s not the only one that can play around,” Jane said slowly, in a tone that told Elsa that her friend was clearly up to something.  “If he’s gonna play around with cute girls, who’s to say that I can’t do the same?”

Elsa raised a brow at this but said nothing.

“Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong.  Maybe I’ve just been batting for the wrong team?”

She gave Elsa a wistful look, but Elsa wasn’t convinced.

“Or maybe you need to stop serial dating the same person.  I hear _Kristoff_ isn’t dating anyone.”

Jane laughed, the moonlight glistening in her eyes.

~X~

Elsa first noticed a change between them two year before, during her first summer back from college.  Anna had just finished up her sophomore year of high school, and Kristoff was struggling as a second year freshman at Aarondale Community College.  It seemed that no one but Elsa had noticed how Anna was far more lax with Kristoff in a way that she couldn’t quite put into words.  Elsa only knew that Anna didn’t slap his hand away when he grabbed at her hips during horseplay, or shove him when he stood too close like she’d been prone to.

And Kristoff didn’t tease her about other boys with the same intensity that he used to, or pull at her braids with the same playfully brute force.  Anna didn’t even flinch when Kristoff smudged off a speck of strawberry cream from her cheek and licked it off his fingers during a mostly unmemorable evening at the dinner table.  While there was nothing particularly special or alarming about the innocuous changes in the way Anna and Kristoff related to each other, the air between them had transformed into something more, and it nagged at her.

Then, as the summer wore on, dyeing fields from green to a crisp gold, Elsa began to take note of the little things.  Like the way Anna wore her shirts; still the same boyish plaid tops, but with an extra two buttons left undone.  It was also the inches of denim trimmed from her cut-offs, nothing damning, but it was more leg than Anna had ever dared to bare outside of the pajama bottoms she wore to bed.

Elsa could see that Anna hadn’t realized she was doing it.  It was a shift that came naturally, like breathing, but the realization that Kristoff had been the catalyst to Anna’s newfound burgeoning sexuality had been unnerving. Boyish, fashionably challenged Anna wasn’t quite so sexless anymore, and it was increasingly harder to ignore.  Elsa hated it, almost painfully so.

But what exactly did she hate?  It certainly wasn’t Anna’s long and lovely bare legs, or the jut of her collar bone and the promising soft pink swell of her cousin’s chest that disappeared under the third button of her shirt, teasing Elsa with endless longing.  She hadn’t been this irritated since the night of the bonfire years before. 

It wasn’t until the end of that summer that Elsa could put a name to the frustrating displeasure that plagued her.  She had been invited to join them at the drive in theater and, for whatever reason, she’d said yes.

“Could be fun,” she’d found herself saying unexpectedly.

“So…You’ll come?”  Anna had looked just as surprised, and Elsa assumed her cousin had expected another decline.  After all, Elsa had been turning down most of her invitations that summer.

“I think I could manage it.”

“That’s great,” Anna replied with the lopsided half smile that she often reserved for her.  The expression had been so stiff and robotic that Elsa couldn’t help but wonder if the offer had been sincere.

The thought had continued to plague her during the show, weighing so heavily upon her that she couldn’t relax.  She’d barely bothered to say more than a few words that night.  Kristoff hadn’t noticed, he’d been too busy prattling on about the movie even as Anna flung popcorn at him to shut him up, but Anna had noticed.  Elsa could see it in her eyes and in the glances stolen her way.

They’d chosen to camp out on the patch of grass next to their parking spot.  Most other patrons had done the same.  Others sat on the tail gate of their pickups, toting coolers full of beer.  Elsa recognized several of them from her graduating class.  She even saw Hans a few car rows ahead of them, making out with a girl she’d never seen before.

 _I shouldn’t have come,_ she relented, wondering why she had bothered to come when she and her cousin weren’t at all close.  And halfway into the movie, as Kristoff and Anna smacked the other’s legs with their bare feet, and failed miserably at stifling their laughter, she’d truly wished she hadn’t come after all.

“I’m getting popcorn.  Anyone want something from the concession stand?”  Elsa asked as she rose to her feet.  It was by far the most she’d spoken that night.

“I’m fine,” was Anna’s nonchalant reply from where she sat, leaning back on her elbows, and her legs outstretched on the cool grass.  She'd briefly torn her eyes from the screen and glanced curiously at Elsa.

"You're not cold?" Anna asked, eyeing Elsa's strappy top.  As hot as the days were, the nights were still crisp and breezy, and Elsa had not bothered to bring a sweater.

“Not really,” she lied, remembering the scent and warmth of Anna’s jacket just two summers before.  "I barely feel it."

"You sure?  I could lend you my jacket."  But Kristoff had been using it as a makeshift pillow, and Elsa felt even more like she was just in the way.

"I'm okay without it, really," she answered even as Anna yanked her jacket from under Kristoff's head without warning, effectively causing him to yelp in surprise.

Under any other circumstances Elsa might have laughed, but she just felt invisible when Kristoff retaliated by yanking on Anna's braids.  She left without saying another word, cringing as she distantly heard Anna's laughter and the sounds they made as she and Kristoff tussled in the grass.

“This is stupid,” she’d muttered to herself under her breath as she waited in the long line for the concession stand, staring vacantly at the movie on the large screen.   _And I'm stupid for being here._

She was still scowling inwardly when she decided to add a box of Raisinets to her order of popcorn.

On her way back to their parking spot, Elsa debated calling Jane and Zan to pick her up.  They were likely at Jane’s house, binge-watching a BBC Victorian drama and pigging out on butter pecan and rocky road ice cream.  It was the evening she had forfeited for movie night with Anna and Kristoff.  Elsa knew Zan would welcome the interruption.  He absolutely hated anything BBC.  And top hats.

Elsa was stuffing her mouth with Raisinets and considering her options when she spotted Hans walking in her direction.  She ducked behind a blue Chevy, her cheeks swollen with raisins and chocolate.  Elsa was certain Hans hadn’t seen her, but she stayed crouched behind the car until he was out of sight.  It was only when she looked up that she saw them, and the bag of popcorn slipped from her hands.

Anna and Kristoff were kissing under a blanket of stars, their legs entwined where they sat on the grass and their faces hidden in the dark shadow cast by her Uncle Robert’s old pickup.  It was something out of a Nicolas Sparks novel.  The small town girl-next-door and the handsome cad.  They looked so perfect together, just like the star-crossed lovers on the giant outdoor screen.  And they shined too, the outline of their shadowed figures set aglow by the luminous light of the picture show and the pale moonlight.

_Oh.  So it was like that._

It was bitter.  And painful.  But as much as it hurt, she had no right to indignation.  All she could do was hope that summer would hurry up and end before it swallowed her whole.  And now two summers later, her mind often drifted back to that memory.  The kiss and that damned moonlight and its ugly revelations.

~X~

“He’s totally looking your way,” Jane teased, pressing a soft elbow into Elsa’s side as she pointed Kristoff out of the crowd. “One of us may be getting lucky by the end of the night.”

He was smiling in their direction.  He looked sharper somehow, sporting a crisp black western shirt that he wore tucked into a pair of dark jeans.  And he tipped his cowboy hat like a good boy, but his big brown eyes were fix on Elsa, staring at her like she was some Hollywood starlet.

Elsa elbowed Jane back.  “He’s all yours.”

“ _Oh please._ That boy only has eyes for one girl, and I’m not you.”

It occurred to Elsa how much easier her life would be if Kristoff and Jane were actually dating each other.  No uncomfortable roommate drama or unsolicited romantic intentions.  She had come to the party that night with certain aspirations, nothing she’d dared put into words, but instead she was barraged with the expectations of others.

_I just want one moment. That’s all I ask._

She had only caught a glimpse of her cousin at the snack table before her attentions were hoarded for the rest of the night.  It had only taken that brief moment to bring her heart to a throbbing mess, and spark the impish longing to tease Anna and see her flustered, just as she had been the day before at the carwash.  But it was not in the cards.  Within minutes of arriving at the party, Kristoff had secured himself at her side, and Jane practically choked on laughter when he asked Elsa to be his date for the evening.

“A date?” She wondered why she hadn’t see it coming, especially when Kristoff’s interest in her had been repeatedly hinted at by just about everyone at the party.  It was hard to miss the winks and double thumbs up Takeshi cast their way every time Kristoff made eye contact, or the way Ryder whooped and high-fived a startled Kristoff before disappearing back into the crowd.

“You want to go on a date? Here? Now?”

“That is, if you don’t mind.”  He looked down at his cowboy boots, a slight flush crawling up his neck.  “It’s totally okay if you don’t want to.”

“No,” she answered briskly, and for a moment a trace of disappointment shadowed his eyes.  “I’d love to.”

He was all smiles again.  In that split second he went from a shy cowboy to a confident buck.  His stature was straighter and taller and his chest prouder.  It was sweet, but also a little annoying, she realized.  And just like that, casting one last look at the boyish girl with the dusty red baseball cap before she took Kristoff’s outstretched hand, an opportunity was lost.

~X~

True to her word, Jane immediately set out on her plan to find a same sex hook up.  She spent the better part of an hour shamelessly flirting with a dark-haired mousey Polynesian girl.  Even under her dark complexion, the girl’s cheeks burned a bright red.  Elsa should have been used to Jane’s antics by now, but she couldn’t deny her own surprise when she spied Jane make a pass at the blushing beauty, brashly stroking the girl’s long’ wavy hair.

Turning her eyes back to Kristoff, and trying her best to appear to be listening, Elsa wondered if the evening would end with Jane nursing a giant stinging red handprint across her cheek.

 “Sometimes I wish I was a bit more like her,” Elsa distantly heard Kristoff say.  “You wouldn’t think it by looking at her, but Anna has a lot of fight in her.  She’d put every guy here to shame.”

Up until that moment, she’d only half-listened to him talk.  They’d spent the past hour engaged in conversation near one of the bonfire pits.  Although Elsa was far less engaged than she made herself appear to be.  A habit she’d picked up from the many blind dates Jane had set her up on.

“She’s a girl, you know.  Maybe not as feminine as most, but that doesn’t make her into some sort of honorary man,” Elsa remarked, fully engaged now.  “Don’t you think that she deserves better than being lumped in as just another one of the guys?”

“I..I didn’t mean--”

“You call her the ‘Butch’ to your ‘Sundance’,” she pointed out, wondering how kissing, let alone sex, had come to pass between Kristoff and Anna.  “Just what is that supposed to mean?”

Kristoff seemed taken back by the bite in her words, nevertheless he replied, “She’s my best friend.  And Jane is yours.  It’s not so strange for friends to tease each other.  You and Jane aren’t all that different.”

 _Hardly,_ she stopped herself from saying, biting her tongue and fighting the urge to raise her brows in disdain.  Elsa smiled stiffly and, after an awkward silence, they both laughed.

“Why does it feel like our date suddenly took a sharp left turn then pummeled right off the edge of a cliff?” Kristoff said, doing his best to hide his anxiousness behind humor.

“Oh?  You mean to tell me that it _wasn’t_ your intention to crash and burn?”

Kristoff turned red, a bright tomato red, and Elsa, having given into her caustic inner voice, was overcome with guilt.

“I don’t think this is working out,” she said in an apologetic tone.  She didn’t bother to tell him that it never would have worked out anyway, that their _date_ had been nothing more than a polite formality.  Elsa knew who she was and what she wanted.  Unfortunately for Kristoff, that didn’t include certain anatomical appendages.

Kristoff pulled off his cowboy hat and ran his fingers through his flattened hair.

“I guess a first date at a kegger was not the best way to go,” he said sheepishly.  “Maybe next time we can do something where it’s just the two of us?”

 _Next time?_   Kristoff had clearly failed to understand Elsa’s attempt at an easy letdown.  As wistful as he looked, there was no way she was going to let it drag out. 

“Kristoff, I don’t think you understand--” she began to say when she was cut off by the clamor of people gathering by the snacks table.  Their former classmates were moving in herds toward the crowd that had begun to gather, but Elsa could not make out what was at the center of the spectacle that was drawing them in.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Kristoff asked Peter Panning as he walked passed.

“It’s Anna,” Peter replied smirking broadly when he paused.  “She’s challenging Ryder to a beer-off.  Shot-gunning style!”

 “A beer-off?”  Elsa asked as she stood, her confusion was plain on her face, but she would get no response. Peter had already disappeared into the crowd, and Kristoff was rising, ready to follow after him.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!”  The crowd chanted as Elsa pushed her way through.  It didn’t take her long to realize that Anna was at the center of the spectacle, her face red from copious amounts of consumed alcohol as she sucked down from the bottom of a beer can.  Jane was there as well, offering moral support in the only way she knew how, by leading a small group of onlookers in a chant.

“Farm girl! Farm girl!”

Anna appeared completely oblivious to Jane’s enthusiastic support, her cheeks glowing brighter with each can of beer she shot-gunned.  Flynn Ryder, on the other hand, was all about pleasing the crowd, flexing his arms and strutting out his bare chest even as he chugged down his beers.

It was probably one of the most idiotic things Elsa had ever witnessed her cousin do.  Certainly dumber than the time Anna had jumped down the hayloft, donning an umbrella, onto a pile of loose hay and fractured her wrist when she was eleven.  All part of a misbegotten attempt at reenacting Marry Poppins. Elsa wanted to be horrified like she had been back then, but she couldn’t suppress the interest and fascination that she felt as she watched Anna make a fool of herself.  But it was more than that.  She was attracted, her body completely conscientious of Anna, like an electric current fluctuating in her veins.  Even at her most imprudent, Anna somehow managed to impress her.

A hand brushed against Elsa’s in overt familiarity and she suddenly realized that Kristoff was standing beside her, trying to take her hand in his.  Pretending she hadn’t noticed, Elsa crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes still fixed on her reckless cousin.

“She’s something special, isn’t she?” Elsa said absently as the crowd cheered loudly.  Even though she had given her thoughts form, the words had been meant for herself alone, but Kristoff was within earshot and understood something quite different.

“Oh, she’s quite _special_ ,” he laughed.

Anna was on her fourth beer when she finally lost her momentum.  She couldn’t take another drink, and the beer streaming out of the bottom of the punctured can wet her mouth and poured out the corners of her lips.

“Looks like we have a winner,” Tadashi Hamada pronounced before timer had declared the true end to the spectacle.  Ryder stood victorious at Anna’s imminent defeat.

_Is everyone here an idiot?_

A countdown began, signaling the impending end of the competition.  Elsa rolled her eyes and shook her head, refusing to take part, but a smile had tugged at her lips.  The countdown had not yet ended but Ryder was already the winner.  Kristoff wasn’t convinced.

“Just wait for it,” Kristoff whispered into Elsa’s ear.  And a heartbeat later Ryder was bent over, vomiting ounces of beer, and Tadashi was holding a tipsy Anna’s arm into the air, pronouncing her the winner.  Elsa burst out laughing.

What happened next was a bit of a blur.  Hans, angry and flustered, had pushed unapologetically through the crowd.  Merida was not far behind, pausing near Jane and the ‘Farmer girl’ chanters.

“You’re just a loser,” Elsa heard Merida snarl at Han’s back, even as he continued forward toward Anna and Tadashi. “And now your little whore knows it too!”

It wasn’t the Merida that Elsa remembered.  She was spiteful and cruel, and something in the way Merida spoke seemed to enjoy the venom of her words.  Hans never turned around to answer her as he continued in Anna’s direction, but he seemed bigger somehow.  Angrier.

And Anna, drunk and unsteady as she was, laughing blithely even as Hans towered over her, hadn’t a clue.  One moment she was laughing and the next she was on the ground looking disoriented and confused as she pressed her finger over her nose, where Hans had landed his blow.

“You bastard!” Kristoff yelled as he bolted, pushing and shoving through the bodies of onlookers.  Elsa didn’t think to react, she just squeezed through the crowd behind him.  As she followed she could hear him grumbling under his breath, his hatred of Hans couldn’t have been any clearer.

Elsa had never known the reason behind Kristoff’s rivalry with Hans.  The two had a mutually destructive dislike of the other.  Near the end of their senior year, long after the two had declared war on each other, Hans slept with Kristoff’s unfaithful girlfriend during a week-long school trip to the science conservatory.  He’d made certain Kristoff got an eyeful from his cabin when Hans clandestinely lead her into his.  In actuality, it had been a girl who Kristoff had only dated a few times, but that’s not the way he had seen it.  Elsa suspected that Hans only dated the girl for the months that followed just to rub it in Kristoff’s face.

Kristoff had managed a stunning revenge a few years after, taunting a drunken Hans into a drag race on the streets of his own university.  Jane had heard the story from Tadashi and Ryder, both whom had been there that night.  Kristoff had slammed on the breaks at the sharp roundabout and skidded safely onto grass, but Hans’ reflexes were compromised by alcohol, and he was too late to react when he pummeled his sports car into the founder’s statue.

He’d fractured more than just the bones in his right leg that night.  He had also wretched his relationship with his father, his academic standing, and his financial support.

In the end, the reason that ignited the men’s mutual dislike was probably irrelevant.  It could have been a minor slight, a misunderstanding, or maybe a simple innate aversion.  Whatever the reason, everything they’d done to each other since then had more far reaching consequences and dashed all likelihood of mending fences.

So when Kristoff cursed Han’s name heavily under his breath, Elsa couldn’t help but wonder if it had to do with Anna at all, or if it was merely a reaction to seeing Hans come out on top.  It was a terrible thing to think, and she knew it.  They were best friends after all, and maybe a small part of her resented what Kristoff and Anna both meant to each other.

By the time they reached Hans and Anna, the roles between them had completely flipped.  Hans was on his knees, crying as he cradled his face, and Anna stood empowered over him, her fist clenched and shaking.  Orange hues from the surrounding bonfires diffused in her disheveled braids like flames, illuminating her eyes with orange and gold flecks.  And she was lovely.

~X~

“Your cousin’s actually kind of hot,” Jane observed, looking Anna up and down as if she were a department store mannequin on display.  Anna wore the beer hat unabashedly, suckling down on the straws as a group of her former upper classmates gushed around her.  The girls had all been linked to Hans in one way or another during their high school years, and had an axe to grind.  “The hat definitely has to go, and she could do with some glamming up, but the fundamentals are all there.”

Elsa kicked her.

“Ow! Seriously? Are we _twelve_?”

“Stop screwing around, Jane.”

“I dunno,” Jane replied glibly.  “I think the problem with me is that I _haven’t_ been screwing around at all so far.”

“And just what does that mean?”  Elsa asked, already suspecting Jane’s intentions.

“Maybe I’ve been hitting up the wrong girls tonight.”

Elsa’s jaw clenched and the temples of her forehead tightened.  _She can’t be serious._   But this was Jane, and she was always serious, even when she wasn’t.

“You know she’s my cousin, right?  And she’s _not_ like that.”  She crossed her arms stiffly over her chest and a frown hooked into her brows.

Jane flicked another glance in Anna’s direction, and Elsa could once again see the metal gears turning in her friend’s head.  “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” she replied coyly before giving Elsa a wink and setting off with resolve in Anna’s direction.

The night was still relatively young, but it already seemed a wash.  Tadashi and Peter had only just finished setting up the speakers, and within seconds, music filled the night sky.  It wasn’t long before people started dancing; couples, and small groups of boys and girls filled the open area.  Naveen Prince broke into a painfully awkward dance routine while his longtime girlfriend, Tiana, tried to pretend she didn’t know him.  The boy looked like a walking advertisement for muscle spasms, and Elsa might have laughed along with some of the other onlookers had she not been so fixated on Jane and Anna. 

Even from where she stood, Elsa couldn’t miss the flirtatious look Jane was giving Anna.  She counted two, three…no five times that Jane made subtle physical contact.  Jane seemed almost incapable of not touching Anna.  She played all her usual moves too; the soft flip of the hair, the coy twirl of a loose tendril around her fingers, and the soft laugh as she leaned forward and pressed a hand on Anna’s arm.  Any boy would have been hers by now, but Anna seemed completely oblivious and impervious to Jane’s charm. 

Then Jane leaned in and uttered something into Anna’s ear, resting a hand on her shoulders.  Anna suddenly became quite flushed, and Elsa immediately tensed in response.  The moment Jane grabbed Anna’s hand, Elsa took a decisive step forward, ready to intervene as a designated third wheel.  Then a giant blond head blocked her line of sight.

“Can I have this dance?”  Kristoff had suddenly sidestepped in front of her, his hand extended and a wide grin fixed on his lips.  She peer around him and saw Jane dragging a reluctant Anna onto the dance floor.  Her cousin’s cheeks were swollen with beer.

_Yes, this night is a total wash._

“I….sure,” she conceded.  “Let’s dance.”

It didn’t take long for Elsa to discover what a terrible dancer Kristoff was.  He was incapable of moving his hips in a way that would suggest he understood the meaning of rhythm.  And his hands were molded into fists, held so tightly and close to his chest as he stiffly swayed his torso from side to side that Elsa couldn’t help but compare him to a boxer eager to take his first swing.

As bad as Kristoff was, Anna was worse.  Except when Jane took her by the hand and spun around, Anna’s arms hung limply at her sides as if they were nothing more than décor.  And she shuffled her feet awkwardly with so little effort; she barely seemed to be moving at all.

Anyone looking could see how out of her element Anna was on that dance floor.  And still, Elsa wanted to be the girl who dragged Anna around and annoyed her endlessly the way Jane was doing.  When they swapped partners, pairing Anna with Kristoff, Elsa let her indifference slip for the briefest of moments, but it had been enough for Jane to notice.

“You look miserable,” Jane said a little too loudly.

“I’m _fine._ _Ecstatic._ ”

“Then I think you’re confusing joy with misery.”

Except for two dances, Kristoff had stolen her dance card for the rest of the night.  At one point, she silently pleaded to the party gods that the speakers would catch fire and put an end to the footloose torment.  Or she could just slip away when Kristoff wasn’t looking.  Certainly less complicated, and required no magical miracles.  But just as she was considering her next move, Anna beat her to it.  No sooner had Jane spun around, that Anna ducked and vanished off the dance floor.  Jane called after her, but Anna was nowhere to be seen.  Elsa would have also lost sight of her had it not been for the plastic beer cap bobbing its way through the crowd.

“What a buzzkill,” Jane moped.

“Is she sick or something?  I’m surprised she’s still standing after all that beer,” Kristoff remarked.

Without missing a beat, Elsa gave Kristoff a gentle push in Jane’s direction. 

“I’ll go get her, Janey” she told her friend, and turning to Kristoff, she added, “and she can fill in for me until I return.”

Before either of them could make any protest, Elsa hurried in the direction Anna had disappeared.

She never did go back. 

~X~

The water was colder than she had expected, sending a ripple of cold tremors up and down her back.  Then, as Elsa struggled to paddle her legs to keep afloat, she realized what a mistake it had been not to take off her shoes before jumping in after Anna.  The bank went silent for a moment, not a single frog or cricket dared utter a sound as she splashed loudly, pulling a half lucid Anna above water.

“There’s water in my shoes,” Anna whined as Elsa eased her hands onto the platform.

“Water in your shoes is the least of your problems,” Elsa replied incredulously, wondering how Anna could sound so coherent when she was clearly wasted.

 “I, I’m f--fine,” Anna sputtered groggily as a light cough tickled her throat.  She latched onto the dock and pulled her torso out of the water, pawing forward on the wooden deck.  Elsa was behind her, her hands firmly fixed on Anna’s hips as she helped guide her onto the platform.  Elsa climbed out after her cousin and lay down beside her, taking a moment to catch her breath.

The ache in her lungs subsided and Elsa turned on her side, finding herself staring into Anna’s eyes, their faces just inches apart.  _And here we are again._

“You were not fine.  Don’t do that _ever again,_ ” Elsa said with unmasked irritation in her voice.  She wanted to play the bad cop, but Anna looked at her with such drunken euphoria that she could not bring herself to give her the verbal lashing she deserved.

“I’ll try not to,” Anna answered, her eyes fluttering drowsily.  “But no promises.”  There was an oddly tender pause of silence, then Anna reached for a wet clump of hair that had fallen over Elsa’s face.  She brushed it aside and her mouth parted as if to speak.

“Something wrong?”  Elsa asked, feeling her chest begin to tighten again, recalling the kiss they had shared just moments ago.

“No, nothing.  It’s just…I can see the moon in your eyes.  It’s so pretty.”

Anna had such a serious look on her face underneath those drunk and glassy eyes that Elsa felt compelled to laugh.

“Are you gonna try to lasso it in, then?” She joked, and she nervously sucked in her breath, wondering what Anna might do next.  But Anna didn’t flinch a muscle.  Her eyes were still exploring the shape of the moon reflected in Elsa’s blue irises.  Something about the way Anna’s stare probed into hers made Elsa’s skin tingle and her pulse flutter.

“Anna?”

“Do you know the story about the moon and the sun?”  There was a slight rasp to Anna’s voice as she spoke, her words were soft and breathy like a warm breeze.  But Elsa was still captivated by Anna’s mouth, recalling how her cousin had consumed her, teasing her tongue along the valley between her lips, a sensation that had not since left her.

“No, I don’ think so,” Elsa answered, increasingly flustered by Anna’s closeness.

“It’s actually not a very good story.  Pretty awful, really.”

“Then why even bring it up?  Are you a sad drunk?”  Kristoff probably knew this side of Anna better than Elsa ever could.  The thought alone made her heart ache and her stomach clench.

“I don’t know.  But it’s all I can think about right now.  Especially the ending.”

“You can tell me about it if you want.”  She’d never admit to anyone, not even herself, but Anna could have been reciting the alphabet forward and backwards and Elsa would have encouraged her to continue.  Just so she could listen to the sound of her voice.

_I could get lost in you._

There was a slight hesitation in Anna’s breath, then her lips parted, “They were siblings,” she said, the reluctance never quite leaving her eyes.  “Brother and sister.  And they were always having love affairs with other people.  But the brother desired his sister, he wanted her, enough to sneak into her bed at night and pretend to be one of her many lovers.”

“And she him found out?”

“Not right away.  But she had her suspicions.”

“What did she do?”

Anna bit her lower lip and knotted her brows.  “While they were…. _you know_.  She reached for his face and covered it in black soot.  He was exposed, and she was humiliated.”

“This _is_ a pretty awful story.”

“They ran away, so far away that they ended up in the stars.”

“Why would she run off with him?”

Anna shook her head, fighting the sleepiness weighing down her lids.  “It wasn’t like that.  She was so ashamed of what had happened, and she told her brother that they could never see each other again.  But he refused,” she paused again, closing her eyes briefly, already beginning to lose against the alcohol in her veins.  “He just couldn’t let go.  And even though she is the brightest of all stars, sharing the same sky, he is just a moon.  His light is so weak, tainted by the soot she smeared all over his face, that he will never reach her.”

“You said that you couldn’t stop thinking about this story,” Elsa said slowly, suddenly wondering why Anna would bring up the story at all as an odd and sinking feeling began to settle in her chest.  Carving an emptiness from within.

“It’s crazy, right?  Those two were wrong for each other.  For so many reasons, really messed up reasons.  What he did was just awful.  But I keep thinking about how he’ll never reach her.   She’s practically at his fingertips, and he’ll never have her.  And it’s not even him I’m thinking about, it’s that feeling, you know?”

Anna rubbed her eye, and a deep yawn escaped her.  Her eyes were now scarcely slits between her barely open lids.

“Yes, I think I know.”

But that was a lie.

Elsa didn’t _think_ anything.  She knew.  She had an intimate relationship with desires that would never bear any fruit.  For years she had clung on to those useless longings, even when she’d been certain that she had finally moved on.  Yet, in that moment, lying wet and cold under the stars, it occurred to Elsa that she could not move on because she still lived inside the very place she denied; within the calcified yearnings of her heart.

“It’s pointless to want something you shouldn’t.”  There was something accusing in the way Anna spoke.  Her cousin’s words were daggers, but Elsa could not discern for whom.

Then without warning or provocation, Anna leaned forward and pressed a soft and lingering kiss on Elsa’s cheek.  Her warm breath left a simmering ache that pooled into the pit of Elsa’s stomach, holding her hostage to a sudden and familiar longing.

“What are you...?”

“I’m not very good at keeping promises.”

Elsa’s brows twisted up as Anna’s reply slowly sunk in.  They clearly had not been talking about the same thing earlier, but Anna was neither aware nor concerned.  Elsa’s head filled with questions, and desperately wanted answers, but Anna’s eyes had never reopened after the peck on the cheek, her head went limp and her face fell forward, tucked into the curve of Elsa’s neck.

“Anna?”

She waited for an answer, but a moment later she heard the soft rasp of Anna’s rhythmic breathing.  And she was as warm and inviting as the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very satisfied with this chapter, but it'll have to do. There's still a few more chapter's to go before the end.


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